tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post6264007760093304259..comments2024-03-29T02:30:24.590+11:00Comments on eclectica: Deathkyliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-76111794472788906092019-09-25T22:35:55.305+10:002019-09-25T22:35:55.305+10:00yes! lost is non-specific enough to be unclear and...yes! lost is non-specific enough to be unclear and it does have the connotation of carelessly misplacing somethingkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-9265966104826589512019-09-19T02:36:28.616+10:002019-09-19T02:36:28.616+10:00Since my dear father died, and more recently my da...Since my dear father died, and more recently my darling husband, I have found I do not care for the euphemisms. In particular I don't say I lost my husband, that sounds irritatingly careless to me. Your ideas for your friend sound helpful, having her see her cats and having some of her treasures around. Terra https://www.blogger.com/profile/04396481049075747940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-34021305353892061762019-08-21T20:33:09.134+10:002019-08-21T20:33:09.134+10:00I wish everyone was so up front about it! Everythi...I wish everyone was so up front about it! Everything I have read suggests that open discussion allows people to face death (their own or their loved one's) more peacefullykyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-35134612475809324282019-08-21T20:30:03.168+10:002019-08-21T20:30:03.168+10:00I'm realising that I am avoiding the word dyin...I'm realising that I am avoiding the word dying in this particular case because on the very small chance that i am wrong, it would be a dreadful thing to say. Which means I'm perpetuating the problemkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-80098866283566969192019-08-18T00:40:56.653+10:002019-08-18T00:40:56.653+10:00I use passed when I am speaking with people I know...I use passed when I am speaking with people I know who have trouble using the word dead. Personally I have always used died or dead in reference to someone who is near to me who died.<br />I am pretty sure that for every single human on this planet there is a 100 percent mortality rate, with the only variable being life's actual timeline.Anne in the kitchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01533249631969001657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-89662677242177859852019-08-16T20:36:01.654+10:002019-08-16T20:36:01.654+10:00I don't understand why people are so coy about...I don't understand why people are so coy about death that they use umpteen euphemisms instead of plain language. People here always talk about someone passing or going or falling asleep or slipping away. What's wrong with the word died?<br /><br />Yes, it's hard to offer support to someone when nobody will be frank about their situation. Especially as you say when one person says they're near to death and another says the opposite.nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-76236743376233788092019-08-15T17:58:48.225+10:002019-08-15T17:58:48.225+10:00I read your post!
I don't know what to say. I&...I read your post!<br />I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry it happenedkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733888108530605722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-62501145008654478362019-08-15T17:56:36.746+10:002019-08-15T17:56:36.746+10:00I'm starting to wonder if the lack of clarity ...I'm starting to wonder if the lack of clarity is what the patient wants. Or maybe her doctors haven't spelled it out kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733888108530605722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-28517743282770335012019-08-15T17:55:17.094+10:002019-08-15T17:55:17.094+10:00I feel like I have a bigger chance of saying the w...I feel like I have a bigger chance of saying the wrong thing when I'm not sure what I'm dealing withkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733888108530605722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-4061341376049793862019-08-15T17:54:10.846+10:002019-08-15T17:54:10.846+10:00Yes, you are right about pieces of home.
I need to...Yes, you are right about pieces of home.<br />I need to ask more questions... kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733888108530605722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-51470544705846452742019-08-15T17:52:58.238+10:002019-08-15T17:52:58.238+10:00You are right, my efforts don't have to be tie...You are right, my efforts don't have to be tied to outcome. I must admit though that I'll try harder if I don't think there are more chances.<br />Gentleness with those left is important, I agree.kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733888108530605722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-3448172558863706562019-08-15T17:48:45.289+10:002019-08-15T17:48:45.289+10:00That's a dreadful story! We might all handle d...That's a dreadful story! We might all handle death better if we were a bit more exposed to it and I'm not talking about the deeply confronting parts, even just our language could be more honestkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17733888108530605722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-62549427723618750222019-08-15T13:20:53.259+10:002019-08-15T13:20:53.259+10:00If I wait long enough, I'll find out!If I wait long enough, I'll find out!kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-63255134853922875712019-08-15T13:19:32.999+10:002019-08-15T13:19:32.999+10:00I have your email but I haven't yet watched th...I have your email but I haven't yet watched the clip. I look forward to it :)kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-63274815976655789322019-08-15T11:19:37.896+10:002019-08-15T11:19:37.896+10:00die not daydie not dayPractical Parsimonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08419071209412207674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-73468691181334570312019-08-15T11:19:02.504+10:002019-08-15T11:19:02.504+10:00Some people are looking for offense where none was...Some people are looking for offense where none was meant. I told a person from Mexico, I loved her taan. About ten people jumped on me for being rude. The person was no offended and pulled up a tshirt sleeve to show people that I was right. <br /><br />I prefer died. When I die, I will day, not pass. Pass where Pass how? DEAD is not used to sound softer about what happened. <br /><br />Oh read my post today. I am homeless. House was razed.Practical Parsimonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08419071209412207674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-5164329570145447772019-08-15T10:10:24.874+10:002019-08-15T10:10:24.874+10:00The important thing here is to recognize what is g...The important thing here is to recognize what is going on. We have to accept that someone is near the end of their life and be honest with them and talk aout it if the person is willing.bRedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996243850279671523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-78254307141832995872019-08-15T06:41:26.689+10:002019-08-15T06:41:26.689+10:00It's very easy to put one's foot in it but...It's very easy to put one's foot in it but it would be helpful if people would speak clearly instead of going around the houses.Yorkshire Puddinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06019673884543913089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-3796084772884761132019-08-15T04:50:16.080+10:002019-08-15T04:50:16.080+10:00I have no problem with died. I do try and avoid i...I have no problem with died. I do try and avoid it when I know it will offend/be seen as callous. And sometimes make mistakes.<br />I love your support for your friend and whatever the journey she is on, I am pretty sure she WOULD love to see her cats, and have some pieces of home beside her. Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-4534896699835299712019-08-15T04:42:23.733+10:002019-08-15T04:42:23.733+10:00Maybe asking if your colleague is expected to be a...Maybe asking if your colleague is expected to be able to return home or not would accomplish the same thing as asking if she is expected to die. I applaud your suggestions to bring comfort to her, regardless of her predicted outcome. Comfort is welcome in illness as much as in impending death. I unequivocally agree with your statement on lost opportunities - nothing is sadder, even death, in my opinion.<br /><br />As for euphemisms, I don't much care whether people use them or not - people understand the gist of the meaning, and some folks prefer directness while others don't. I prefer the term "passed away" - it is universally understood just as much as "died" is, and seems gentler to me, coming as it does at a time when I try to be gentle with those left behind.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-11580130400265650162019-08-15T01:14:15.957+10:002019-08-15T01:14:15.957+10:00Thanks for this post Kylie, what an evasion it is....Thanks for this post Kylie, what an evasion it is. One of Grandgirl's friends recently lost his mother and it has been handled terribly. She admonished her mother (Daughter) not to tell anybody as her friend had said not to. It's a bigger story in that he and his dad cared for his dying mum for 3 months and cut themselves off media during the period. So her friend had no support and his group were frantic to make sure he was OK.<br /><br />I honestly feel that like you said, it would have been great for him to be encircled in love by his friends who have all been together since kindergarten just about.<br /><br />We are all so afraid of DEATH when it is the time we are needed the most.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-24045984749363810002019-08-15T01:11:35.918+10:002019-08-15T01:11:35.918+10:00It gets very confusing towards the end of life, th...It gets very confusing towards the end of life, this is true. People pad about hinting at this and that.<br />Anyhow, perhaps the next stage of your senior lady's 'journey' is a care home, or sheltered housing? Either way I'm sure she would like to see her cats again, and would like some of her possessions. You are very thoughtful.<br />SxMs Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00449626572478125088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017882226857032208.post-73660381694989735412019-08-15T00:23:26.530+10:002019-08-15T00:23:26.530+10:00I prefer using "dead' to "passed awa...I prefer using "dead' to "passed away" as the latter is, in my opinion, flowery and escapist. Will send you a mail with a clip that explains this phenomenon.Rummuserhttp://rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.com