I have, for the last 18 months convened a fortnightly dinner for some church ladies at a local pub. It all came about when one of the ladies talked about feeling lonely and unsupported, especially because her husband has severe depression.
It is a small group of seven on a very good day but most times I end up having dinner with just one or two or cancelling the whole thing.
I understand that for the ladies involved, they aren't obliged to be there and life gets in the way at times but I have become increasingly disappointed by the last minute absences and general disinterest so I decided that next year it will be a monthly event.
This week I sent out next years dates and one asked "Is this monthly now?"
I considered how I might explain without being bitter but eventually decided no explanation was neccessary and just replied "Yep"
Little did I know I would be face-to-face with the person asking just a couple of days later.
"Why is it once a month now?" she asked me.
Hmmm. I felt quite a bit like a rabbit in headlights.
"Well, people don't come very regularly and I understand that life gets in the way but I have to be committed to being there every fortnight"
She nodded sagely and said "maybe we'll see Mrs Elegant more often if it's a monthly event"
I don't understand the logic of that but it doesn't matter, I have created my boundary and having done that, maybe I'll be able to have a better attitude.