Boundaries

 I have, for the last 18 months convened a fortnightly dinner for some church ladies at a local pub. It all came about when one of the ladies talked about feeling lonely and unsupported, especially because her husband has severe depression.

It is a small group of seven on a very good day but most times I end up having dinner with just one or two or cancelling the whole thing.

I understand that for the ladies involved, they aren't obliged to be there and life gets in the way at times but I have become increasingly disappointed by the last minute absences and general disinterest so I decided that next year it will be a monthly event.

This week I sent out next years dates and one asked "Is this monthly now?" 

I considered how I might explain without being bitter but eventually decided no explanation was  neccessary and just replied "Yep"

Little did I know I would be face-to-face with the person asking just a couple of days later.

"Why is it once a month now?" she asked me.

Hmmm. I felt quite a bit like a rabbit in headlights.

"Well, people don't come very regularly and I understand that life gets in the way but I have to be committed to being there every fortnight"

She nodded sagely and said "maybe we'll see Mrs Elegant more often if it's a monthly event"

I don't understand the logic of that but it doesn't matter, I have created my boundary and having done that, maybe I'll be able to have a better attitude.

Midnight Matchmaker

 My world is changing. It hasn't changed completely yet but I see things coming and it's a lot and I am pre-emptively sad. I get through the waking hours ok but I've been waking at 3am every night with an overwhelming sense of, well overwhelm and sadness.

Did you know that 3am wake-ups come from stress? Our cortisol (stress hormone) starts rising around 3 and keeps rising so that it wakes us up in the morning but if cortisol levels are already high, we reach waking up levels at 3. I've only heard this recently but it seems to me to be regular as clockwork. From a health and science viewpoint it's fascinating. From a body inhabitors viewpoint it's just annoying.

I have noticed that my best chance of settling back to sleep is by listening to a mans voice, i figured it out because I woudl try to listen to audio books and wouldn't manage to last long. It was great for falling asleep but not good for book listening :)

Lying awake this morning I remembered the radio program which captured a huge 30% of Sydney listeners back in the day. I'm not sure how long the Midnight Matchmaker show ran for, the final episode aired in 2015 and the host worked in radio for 47 years.

Midnight matchmaker started at 11pm and lonely hearts would call to talk to the host with the soothing voice. I have some vague memories of hearing the show at times although I don't know why I would have been listening. Maybe I was out in the car late at night. I don't listen to radio in the house.

Midnight matchmaker actually succeeded in making a number of matches and I think it probably soothed a lot of people to sleep. Or back to sleep. I wonder if there's some show which has taken it's place in the darkened bedrooms and kitchens of this city?

What do you use to help you sleep?

Sweet

 

Katherine is a town in central Australia, where the dry season is hot and the wet season is hot and wet. The man at the heart of the "Katherine Outback Experience" trains problem dogs and horses so they can become useful and therefore more likely to survive. During the dry season he does this in a training ring on his property and in the wet season the show is taken on tour. Caitlin had seen the show in Katherine and recommended it so a couple of weeks back I went, with my girls, to the performance at a pony club on the semi-rural fringe of Sydney.

When the dogs had finished their routine, there was a call for a volunteer from the crowd to look after this very nervy pup, Winnie. Briony "the girl in the funky jacket" was chosen and Winnie stayed with us for the rest of the night.

This young boy was very keen to sit with her and spent quite a lot of time trying to remove a nasty thorn from her ear.

I have a better photo where he is sitting up more and his face is more visible but somehow it feels wrong to post an identifying picture of somebody elses child.

It was a lovely night in the outdoors with animals, country music and a very family oriented show.