The Challenge

I email a buddy. The reply is clear, concise: “I’m impressed with your writing” then “YOU ARE WASTING AWAY INTELLECTUALLY. GET TO DOING SOMETHING”
I feel chastened, perhaps rightly. I know my brain is under used.
What do I do? I ask silently. How? You make it sound so easy, I think. My kids are still young, take time, work, care.

I wonder how I can develop an intellectual life. It would take time, time I need for chores, mothering, all the stuff that I can’t quite name but that is useful and important.
I’m nervous about this idea of “get to doing something”.

I'm not overly bothered by “wasting away intellectually” so does it really matter? If I regard my mind as a gift to be used, what is the best use for it? Do I have anything to contribute? And how about what I’m doing now, doesn’t that count for anything? There is room for improvement but generally speaking I like my internal life. While I might not be in top gear I had thought it was good enough to better my relationship with the world.