i've just finished reading a mammoth novel called Shantaram. in it the protagonist talks about beginnings and pin points some beginnings in his life.

i dont think i can pinpoint any beginnings. turning points yes, but not beginnings and i'm not sure why i view the two as different. maybe a beginning requires an ending and i haven't seen the end points to the turns, if you know what i mean.

if i had gone to university my life might still have been one of family and work, thats pretty common to the human experience, but it would have been populated by different people and that is guaranteed. different people might have meant a very different family and a very different job and a totally different life.................

having said all of that i dont regard the decision not to go to uni as a beginning, just a choice.

can you name any beginnings in your life?

a year or so back i took liam to see an orthodontist, the very same one who treated me twenty years ago, who i never saw and whose attitude my mother was not impressed with. the practice was busy and impersonal and when i didnt want to commit to $7000 dollars worth of treatment in hurry the man got testy and rude. i hadnt liked him from the start of this new encounter and i certainly didnt like him now.
a few months back i told my dentist that i wanted a referral to someone else. my request sparked an interesting coversation in which my dentist asserted we choose to spend time with people who reflect our values and he would not employ anybody he did not personally like.
today i took both the boys to the alternate orthodontist. it was in an office building and looked to be an expensive property but not lavish or overdone. i was shocked when i was called in to watch proceedings and found that there were signs of humanity in the room. one wall was made of glass bricks so the room was bright and the natural light was gentle. there was a sofa by the glass wall, not a vinyl chair placed as an afterthought, not even a sterile vinyl lounge trying to be welcoming. this was a fair dinkum couch. in blue fabric. nearby was an elaborately carved chinese style side table with a newspaper on top and traces of dust in the woodwork.
as i observed the close proximity of the orthodontist to his nurse i mused on their need for good quality deodorant, then i thought that being in an airconditioned room all day might be fairly forgiving, this led me to notice the movement of air in the room and i noticed with astonishment that there was a door open to a balcony. who ever heard of fresh air in a sterile building full of professional suites?
yes, this was a practice i could like

my kids call me weird & eccentric.....

i have a couple of kaftans that i dont wear. they were both gifts from my husband, both batik printed glossy fabric in rich purple shades. in short, they are lovely to look at but whatever the fabric is, it's just too hot to wear. i have looked at these kaftans and wondered if i could make them into something else. i thought the best way to appreciate the colour and design would be to keep the fabric in large pieces and wondered about a table cloth but i have realised that the very light fabric wouldn't sit or fall properly that way so back to the drawing board.....

somehow recently i came up with the idea of a shoulder bag, a bag isnt so big but clever cutting might create something special so i've been tossing this idea about, googling patterns and generally dreaming of cut, colour, texture......

this one looks pretty good so you never know, i might make something like it one day.

what is funny about all this is that i started thinking about what other fabrics i have stashed away and assessing them for shoulder bag suitability, then i thought of my recent efforts to get rid of clutter and wondered what i might have thrown away that was recyclable.

just this week i threw out a sheet. it was a pure cotton, double sheet in a nice deep shade of red, it had a large tear where my shoulder ruins every sheet and every pair of pyjamas but the rest of it was pre-washed to a softly distressed finish and it would have made a great lining for a shoulder bag or two. i had that sheet here for months before i decided i couldn't resurrect it and now that it has long gone i have the perfect use and i'm crying over a torn sheet!!