Friday, 22 April 2016


Last year I was getting some regular post-natal doula work, I am sure you remember that I thought I had found my niche. I wasn't making a fortune but I thought I was contributing to my clients and my household and that word of mouth might start to bring me a few more clients.
Then, the year turned and just as if a door had shut, the work all dried up. For a while the phone kept ringing but the inquiries didn't amount to anything, then it all stopped, altogether.
The result of all this is that I have been frequenting the employment sites, even to the extent of joining Airtasker. I'm guessing that most cities have their own version of airtasker, where people offer small jobs at low rates, to people who are desperate for work.
I check Airtasker several times a day, on the off chance that someone will be offering a task I can do without incurring more expense than the payment offered. The site is dominated by people wanting their houses cleaned or their gardening done but sometimes there is an ad which catches my imagination:
The woman whose wedding musicians cancelled and now wants two more to play on a weeks notice. Why did they cancel? Did she find someone? The wedding is tomorrow, I wonder how it will go.

The person who wants two beanies and matching scarves made in football team colours. She wants them done before Tuesday. Will someone be able to do it in time? Why is she prepared to pay for hand made items? Can't she buy them in the shops?

Someone wants her small dog chaffeur driven to Brisbane (12 hours away). Why? and who will do it for the small amount on offer?

The various people who want ice cream delivered on Saturday nights. This is a regular occurrence and they never actually seal the deal to get the delivery.

There was even an ad for "adult shopping" posted at 4am. Does anyone seriously believe that someone will urgently deliver lube and cherries at 4am?

I wonder what next week's stories will be!

Monday, 11 April 2016

Saying no

There are many facebook groups for doulas where people swap ideas and information related to the work we do and one of the posts I see crop up quite regularly goes something along the lines of "I was interviewed by a potential client but I didnt get the job. They said they can't afford it/ partner isn't on board with the idea/ they changed their mind/ the doctor doesn't like the idea. What can I say to this client to secure the job?"
Every time I read this scenario I want to tear my hair out and scream "they said NO, they may have tried to soften it with an excuse but it is still a no".
This morning I read  a new version of the same story and I thought to myself "why dont they get that no means no".

At the moment that I thought this I realised that I was thinking the slogan of an anti-rape campaign. That is interesting. Did the no means no campaign arise from potential rapists not understanding the word no, I wondered. Or is there a broader issue at work?
Then I remembered that just yesterday my daughters were invited to lunch and their response was effectively a "no" (I dont know what language they actually used) After their negative response the person issuing the invitation attempted to change their minds. 
Hmmm, there is a pattern building where people who want to say no use other terminology and where people who don't want to hear a "no" (either direct or implied) continue to attempt negotiation, leading to discomfort and resentment (and sometimes a sexual assault).

How many things would change if we all got to be really good at saying and hearing a "no"?

Thursday, 24 March 2016

After a long run of swelteringly hot days, high humidity, sweat, bugs, and fungus it has finally turned to autumn. The mornings are crisp, the days are warm and sunny, the nights are cool.
The Easter weather arrived just in time for Easter and I am grateful for that.

I have scoured google for images that mean Easter to me. 

Hot Cross BunsThe Royal Easter Show


Easter Eggs