I am on call now for a birth and while i think i am better at uncertainty than the average person, that doesnt mean i have no concerns.
My concerns are mostly manufactured in my own mind: what if i dont hear the phone and they dont call again? what if they have decided at the last minute that they wont call me? what if there is a traffic jam on the way? will i remember everything i need to? will i think on my feet when something unexpected crops up (and it will, it is birth) if it is long, will i be anywhere near useful at the end? what food do we have that i can quickly grab as i head out?
every night when i get into bed i think i am too tired for a birth tonight, every time my son has my car i worry about getting the call, yesterday i worried that i would forget the address.
today i was asked what food i recommend for labour and i worried that i was being either too vague or too prescriptive (i said comfort foods, complex carbs to start and fast energy sources for the end)
i go on call when a pregnancy reaches the 38 week mark and some babies are not born until 43 weeks (rare but possible) it is a long time to be second guessing ones self but this is the life i chose and maybe i will get better with practice?
