With only about four hours to go before the new "Weekend Wandering" question is posed I might be running a teensy bit late with this one but I might be able to set some kind of a record......
Was I afraid of the dark?
Well, I was anxious about it, that's for sure. I can't remember an overwhelming fear and that's probably because I was never really in the dark. Mum always left the light on in the hallway outside my bedroom so my bedroom was never really dark and I just can't remember any other time that I was even in the dark.
I think it would be safe to say that I have remained a little bit anxious about the dark.
You know, the experts recommend that if you need to get up during the night you should avoid turning the light on. The light shining in your eyes confuses the body into thinking it's time to wake up and insomnia can result but I can't tinkle in the dark, nope, I won't. I don't need a light on for any practical reason, I know where the toilet is and how to undress myself, I don't want to see the colour of my wee or the lovely 1960's pink toilet but I want the light on.
We go camping on occasions and that can be another time I dislike the dark, the wind in the trees can be scary and the sound of the ocean crashing on a not-so-distant shore at night takes some time to become soothing for me.
A few years back we were camping at Wye River, on the very Southern coast of Australia. The Otford Range meets the coast in that part of the country and I can remember clearly the sense of doom that I felt as storms would roll in off the ocean overnight. Thunder rolled and echoed around the mountains, booming and growling, ominous and dark. I waited impatiently, even anxiously, for the sunrise.
Another time I was overjoyed to see daylight was during my first labour. I laboured all night, the pain was intense, the child was no closer, the night seemed interminable. I sucked on the gas as if my life depended on it and I watched the window. Black. Black. Black. Hour upon hour. Gradually the window developed a streak of purple across the bottom, changing to orange and yellow then gradually filling the room with the white brightness of day. My baby was still many hours of difficult labour away but it seemed so much more bearable as the darkness slipped away.
Sometimes the darkness is my friend, sometimes I want the complete rest that is afforded by the dark. Sometimes I want to be cocooned in a warm and dark place, the closest thing possible to the safety and security of the womb.
Isn't it interesting that the darkness can be both refuge and something to take refuge from?
"God made the sun to rule over the day and the moon to rule over the night"
Special,
ReplyDeletewhat a lovely post! The first thing I have to mention is about the colour of your wee - heehee!! That's all I want to say about that.
On the subject of being afraid of the dark, I think I was/am very similar to you. As a child, I would have a nightlight that was on a shelf in the corner of my room, and my parents used to put that on for me - it was very comforting as you can imagine. I agree with you that sometimes darkness can be very reassuring and exactly what we need - to feel cocooned and safe.
I remember climbing Mount Fuji in the dark, and we had only a little torch to guide us - it was scary at times, but other times it was so magical to be walking up a huge mountain almost in the dark - and then to get to the top for the sunrise was something else.
Being in Moscow, I don't like walking home in the dark, even with streetlights, but that's possibly obvious over here!
Great post darl,
love ya,
Peej xxx
Hello to my two dear friends. I love you both. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful post for many reasons. I'm not afraid of the dark. I grew up with too many sisters to be alone, so have no fear at home. However, I'd never walk alone in the dark. I've read too many of Rob's cases to know what can happen. I'll drive the car, thank you very much! And when I went to NY a few years ago I was driving to my sisters house on a back country road at night with no street lights, traffic lights, people, cars, sidewalks, you name it...nothing! Just me, the car and headlights. I remember being very scared. Not of the dark, but of killing a deer or any animals that happened to run in front of the car, or breaking down. And I remember the overwhelming feeling of being alone on a country road in pitch dark. In the city you're eyes have to pay attention to everything, in the country only one thing, the road. When I arrived at my sister's house I felt such an awesome sense of relief.
Great post, and thanks.
XO Suze
I seek out the dark at times. I will go into an interior room and close the door to shut out all the light. The deprivation of sight and sound, taking away some of my senses, is comforting.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that the darkness can do both things - hide us and be a restful friend? I'm glad it is.
ReplyDeleteThe light does help to keep from stumbling over the forgotten "think" someone left in the way to the bathroom. A little little is just perfect sometimes.
Best wishes,
Skeeter
hi pete,
ReplyDeleteclimbing mt fuji in the dark sounds amazing, frightening too. what a great experience!
love ya
xx
hey suze,
ReplyDeletei'm always scared of hitting animals, too. driving unfamiliar roads, in the dark & scared of hitting something all makes for nerve racking driving but you feel all the more powerful at the end :)
cheers
k
hi bob,
ReplyDeletethats exactly what i was thinking of, a bit less information coming in is a good thing if the nerves are jangling!
i hope you dont have to resort to dark rooms too often, though
face the sun :)
hey skeeter,
ReplyDeleteah yes, the forgotten "think"....
we have so many of those!!
and best wishes back-at-cha
k
Wonderful post. I remember also during my very long labor with Hedgehog, a whole long night before the day she was born, I was home and having contractions, and also like you watching for dawn...that was definitely one of the blackest nights of my life...and yes, it was easier in daylight...
ReplyDeleteI'm still scared of the dark sometimes as an adult, but I enjoy it too--even the nervous part--like I enjoy ghost stories--
p.s. Loved Peter's story. When I was in rabbinical school, my class climbed Masada at night, and watched sunrise over the Dead Sea. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteSpecial,
ReplyDeleteIt was an unbelievable experience, and one that I shall never forget - it's imprinted in my brain forever.
Suze,
Love ya hun.
Leah - thanks sweetie, I just wish I had the photos on disc - they're just languishing in my parents loft as hard copies. I should try to scan them in, really.
Peter x
hi leah,
ReplyDeleteit seems i am the only one who hasn't climbed a mountain at night!
hope you're having fun
k