about an hour ago we farewelled our dear zakky. he fought a good fight but it was his time. he slipped gently from this world and will remain in our hearts forever
my beautiful friends, i want to thank you all for your kind thoughts and words and prayers for my family.
on further investigation we found that anzac had a complicated spinal fracture. he completely stopped eating and drinking and i knew it was time for him to go.
we put him on the lawn in the cool breeze of evening. his humans and his furry friends surrounded him with love and attention and he gently and peacefully slipped into an eternal sleep over the course of a half hour.
we kept him inside for the evening,in his sick bed.we went about the business of life and paused to weep over him as we wished.
today we wrapped him in a pillowslip tied with a ribbon and we buried him under the bushes where he loved to explore.
the kids have busied themselves with carving a gravestone and i am sure that the ceremonies we have used have been helpful to us all.
thanks again for your love and care you're the best
cece, thanks for your lovely words. to explain, i disabled comments until i felt strong enough to read them, sometimes i just go to water if anybody is sympathetic :)
Hi baby. First, let me tell you how sorry I am for Anzac, you and your family. You know me, it hurts that you hurt. When Newman died I didn't have him cremated because I wasn't allowed to brink him home first and I had to do that. Newman was the Alpha male and the other cats and T-Bone had to know he was gone. I couldn't leave them all in limbo. He stayed in the house for a few hours and everyone visited. Some lingered, some would barely look. T-Bone had the most difficult time. Then it was time to bury him and I couldn't do it. The hole was dug, we wrote a beautiful card and had his favorite toy and wrapped him in his blanket, but I couldn't put him in the ground. I ran away with him, dropped to my knees and buried my face in his belly next to an Azalea and just sobbed and screamed. It was if I was burying my child. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. When I felt brave enough I gave him to Rob and said "I can't do it, please bury him" and then ran into the garage and screamed at the top of my lungs, "I HATE YOU!!!" Yes, I was talking to God. Newman was only 12 years old and he didn't deserve to die. He didn't. I don't know why life has to be so hard. I don't. He loved us so much and I feel as if we failed him. Why is life so hard Kylie? Why do we lose those we lose so much?
I love you. You know that. I think you did the right thing. I understand everything. I still have to email and will. It's almost completed, just be patient. I'm not the most gifted emailer in the US! But I try! I love you for being my darling friend and I so love your honesty. You're a good woman and I'm so sorry for your loss. You know that.
love and loss go hand in hand but we love because we must then we move through the loss because again, we must.
as for telling God that you hate him i try not to do it. but God wants us to recognise Him as supreme and you were actually doing that so you know......its not all bad :)
i've never really handled dead things, not like i did with anzac, but it was ok. mind bendingly sad but ok. i wanted to do it. i wanted to give him what ever was still possible to give.
i think you'll find you have at leat 500 words there. thats what makes you you
maithri is eloquent but he's probably also just darned busy :)
my beautiful friends,
ReplyDeletei want to thank you all for your kind thoughts and words and prayers for my family.
on further investigation we found that anzac had a complicated spinal fracture. he completely stopped eating and drinking and i knew it was time for him to go.
we put him on the lawn in the cool breeze of evening. his humans and his furry friends surrounded him with love and attention and he gently and peacefully slipped into an eternal sleep over the course of a half hour.
we kept him inside for the evening,in his sick bed.we went about the business of life and paused to weep over him as we wished.
today we wrapped him in a pillowslip tied with a ribbon and we buried him under the bushes where he loved to explore.
the kids have busied themselves with carving a gravestone and i am sure that the ceremonies we have used have been helpful to us all.
thanks again for your love and care
you're the best
kylie
cece,
ReplyDeletethanks for your lovely words. to explain, i disabled comments until i felt strong enough to read them, sometimes i just go to water if anybody is sympathetic :)
much love
k
Holding you and your family in my thoughts and prayers my friend,
ReplyDeleteHe will watch over you all with the same kindness you showed him,
With love, Maithri
maithri,
ReplyDeletethanks so much.
your friendship means a great deal
aroha
k
Hi baby. First, let me tell you how sorry I am for Anzac, you and your family. You know me, it hurts that you hurt. When Newman died I didn't have him cremated because I wasn't allowed to brink him home first and I had to do that. Newman was the Alpha male and the other cats and T-Bone had to know he was gone. I couldn't leave them all in limbo. He stayed in the house for a few hours and everyone visited. Some lingered, some would barely look. T-Bone had the most difficult time. Then it was time to bury him and I couldn't do it. The hole was dug, we wrote a beautiful card and had his favorite toy and wrapped him in his blanket, but I couldn't put him in the ground. I ran away with him, dropped to my knees and buried my face in his belly next to an Azalea and just sobbed and screamed. It was if I was burying my child. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. When I felt brave enough I gave him to Rob and said "I can't do it, please bury him" and then ran into the garage and screamed at the top of my lungs, "I HATE YOU!!!" Yes, I was talking to God. Newman was only 12 years old and he didn't deserve to die. He didn't. I don't know why life has to be so hard. I don't. He loved us so much and I feel as if we failed him. Why is life so hard Kylie? Why do we lose those we lose so much?
ReplyDeleteI love you. You know that. I think you did the right thing. I understand everything. I still have to email and will. It's almost completed, just be patient. I'm not the most gifted emailer in the US! But I try! I love you for being my darling friend and I so love your honesty. You're a good woman and I'm so sorry for your loss. You know that.
With so much love,
Me
Maithri wrote as I was writing. How do people edit so perfectly. I can't. I try, but you get 300 words to Maithri's 2!!! I'm in awe.
ReplyDelete;)
P.S. I guess that's what makes me me. XO
hey suze,
ReplyDeletetheres so much here to answer!
love and loss go hand in hand but we love because we must then we move through the loss because again, we must.
as for telling God that you hate him i try not to do it. but God wants us to recognise Him as supreme and you were actually doing that so you know......its not all bad :)
i've never really handled dead things, not like i did with anzac, but it was ok. mind bendingly sad but ok. i wanted to do it. i wanted to give him what ever was still possible to give.
i think you'll find you have at leat 500 words there. thats what makes you you
maithri is eloquent but he's probably also just darned busy :)
love
k