Sunday, 22 April 2012

cars, cots and one mother goose

well, well, well....
i'm a bit all over the place and it (it being the state of my head) is going to become a post. it will be a spectacular post or a dismal fail as the kids say, no happy medium.

i have proved the idea that one can jinx oneself. every week i park in the carpark opposite church and so does everyone else and not just once has it crossed my mind that i need to be extra careful in there because hitting a friend's car would be so much worse than hitting a stranger's.

and now i have the proof. i did it, i hit a friend's car. a young couple with an already damaged car, which is reassuring in one way but also worse because who fixes an already old car? instead i have just made it older and worth less. they were so so nice about it and if i'm teary anytime i'm worse when people are unreasonably kind, it was awfully cringe-worthy and now i have to just get on with life with a new understanding of horrible embarassment. and why do i have a mental block about spelling embarrasment?

i honestly think that typing makes my spelling worse, only on facebook do i use "your" in place of "you're" or "to" and "too" interchangeably.

my internet wanderings this week have led me through numerous you tube births, including the nailbiting birth and resuscitation of wonderfully named "Epic Powers Abundant" and i stumbled over the "cold cot", a cooling mechanism for bassinettes of stillborn babes and neonatal deaths. it is intended to make mourning easier, to reduce the need to take the wee one to a mortuary. it makes some sense to me but i was interested in a LONG comment thread written largely by somebody who thinks it's better to mourn a lost child from afar. this doula thing has led me to places i didnt dream of!

further web wanderings lead me to the facebook  and web pages of a jewellery brand called "erstwilder". they make rather lovely and covetable quirky bits and i was interested in the mother goose brooch as a kind of mascot for me as i enter the mothering profession and my wanderings around erstwilder led me to a successful, well followed and award nominated  blog written by a young mother. theres a whole lot of those blogs around but i was suddenly hit by my longstanding resistance to professional blogging. i'm a total hypocrite because i would be happy to earn off my blog but at the same time i think that if money is involved there is an enormous compromise, a need to cater to the masses rather than be who one is, leading to the blandification of blogging along with everything else.

life seems to be uncompromisingly irreconcilable sometimes.


  1. I so agree about the juggling act life becomes. Sadly I am a klutz and have troubles keeping one ball in the air let alone more than that.

    Mourning the death of a child (or any death) I very much fall into the do what suits you camp. Which is going to vary considerably from individual to individual.

    I am so excited about your journey to douladom. I believe you will be wonderful.

  2. Driving into a friend's car must be totally mortifying. Fortunately I've never done it and hope I never do!

    As you say, you're certainly being led to places you didn't dream of. Which must be really exciting and interesting.

    I wouldn't want to be a professional blogger for the same reason - I'd have to compromise too much with what I want to say.

  3. I agree with E.C. - it's hard for me to juggle multiple things. I'm rarely on FB any longer as I try to write here more as well as G+ now. I dunno Kylie - I think writing commercially would be fun although I have no clue where I would begin.

    Sorry about your car mishap. I'm sure you felt awful. Much damage to your car or theirs?

  4. EC,
    what worries me is i dont have as many balls in the air as i will need to in future and i'm not keeping them up too well!
    i am also ridiculously excited about becoming a doula, the more i get into it the more potential i can see for myself and for the human race.
    hahaha i sound so grandiose but i believe it :)

    for some reason i find paid blogging distasteful, i'm not sure why. paid print journalism doesnt upset me.
    i recommend never hitting a friend's car. mortifying is an understatement!

    commercial writing would be ok but i view blogs as the voice of the people, biased maybe but by the writer rather than by some company's agenda. it's an odd little glitch in my logic :)

    my car is ok, theirs has a shallow dent right along the lower portion of the back door. my hubby might be able to straighten it up, he is exceptionally talented that way

  5. I have been far worse injured by strangers hitting me both in and out of the car than I ever have been by a friend. *shrug*

    Kylie you're right on---all over the place but it's good mental health to allow the ind to go where it will for time without intent focus on any particular thing.

  6. mark,
    nice to know that my shambolic headspace is healthy :)

  7. It seems to me that most people who make money off of their blogs do it by sharing information people want to know. I don't see anything wrong with that.

  8. To, too,two much for me. I'm starting to speak like King
    George V1 of the UK. I reckon it's even worse if one hit a relative's car!

    I don't have to worry about pro blog writing ethics or the total amorality of it because I never will be smart enough to write my own opinions let alone write so that it agrees with other folks views.
    Imagine writing for Murdochs.

  9. Your journey to being a doula is going to open your eyes to many different scenarios including learning about the tragic ones. I can not imagine a worse situation to be in, your heart would never be the same..
    Accidents are named for that reason , unplanned and without intent !
    Just keep away from my car or you will owe me some carbs !!
    Fee xo


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