Wednesday 29 October 2014

mothering the mother



it is about two and a half years since i finished my training as a doula, i wrote about it a few times at the beginning but then i fell silent: there wasn't much to report, there is client privacy to consider and i felt it prudent to keep schtum about my story because some doulas are quick to criticise any of our number who makes the vaguest client details public knowledge. even though i dont publicise this blog, google can reveal anything to anyone and i wouldnt want to get my own profession off side through even an innocent rambling.

this week i booked a client. she will be the fourth woman i work with this year and although four clients is very well below what one might hope for i have been blessed to work with wonderful families so far. the jobs i fear with long, exhausting labours, difficult clients, traumatic circumstances or me failing in some crazy way have not materialised and the births i have attended have each been triumphs in their own way.

along the way i have learnt that some people will have me drive all over the city to give them a free consultation when they have no intention of booking. i have learnt that by even hinting that i want them to meet me on my own terms i can dissuade the ones who dont respect my time.

i have developed a website, created a standard invoice, made an information package to hand out, written a client agreement, got business cards, collaborated on a logo design, learnt how to get on the first page of a google search and started developing a format for how i can best cover everything i need to cover as a clients' pregnancy/ birth/ early parenting consultant.

i have discussed breastfeeding, mastitis, baby shopping, family dynamics, circumcision, yoga, epigenetics, self care, hypnosis for birth, lotus birth, water birth and so  much more.

i have done many, many "meet & greet" appointments, most of which didnt result in me being hired but i liked all of the people and could genuinely wish them well.

i have figured out that print advertising seems to be money down the drain and that google maps always underestimates travel times.

i have talked birth so incessantly that my daughters could probably doula without formal training and even my sons know that an all-fours position is my default recommendation for women to labour in.

i wanted say thanks for your enduring interest and support and though i cant tell funny / heartwarming / graphic stories i can tell you that taking this path has certainly been the slow road but the scenery is lovely.

10 comments:

  1. The scenic route is ALWAYS a winner. And I love that you are continuing down this path. I wondered, I hoped...

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  2. thanks EC!
    it isnt eventuating in the way i had imagined but for now the only reason to change direction would be fear and if i did that i would surely spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been
    xo

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  3. Kylie, you deserve all success and I send you my best wishes.

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  4. I'm glad you've had a modest success so far, and all the training and research is starting to pay off. Those people who just want a free consultation are shabby - perhaps you should always charge a "call-out" fee, even a modest one?

    Yes, a shame you can't tell us a few interesting inside stories, but as you say, client confidentiality is vital.

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  5. i tried a call out fee but i wasnt getting any calls so i dropped it again. it's pretty hard to go against industry standard.

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  6. Having a Douala when my 3 mo old grandson was born would have been much better for my DiL than the old grandma's and friends who never gave birth "helping" her through the process.

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  7. Mark,
    Thanks for saying that!
    How are mom and babe these days?

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  8. Baby is growing but mom & dad seem to be not really mentally ready 9still) for the great life change. 30's wanting to be teens still. *sigh*

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  9. the thing about babies is that they are so all consuming! it's intimidating but it is also pretty much inevitable that they will surrender to family life ;)

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