It is rare for me to declare a day, week, month or year good or bad. I just bumble along trying to enjoy the good bits and figure out how to be gracious about the bad bits. I have always been this way. Maybe it is this attitude that has meant I have very little interest in New Year: if the past year has been neither good nor bad but full of the usual ups and downs, and if the coming year is likely to be pretty much the same, the idea of marking it all with a night of drinking and fireworks seems a little pointless.
I have to say that my long run of disinterest might have come to an end. 2016 was a particularly tough year for me. The feng shui project continued, making our house feel a lot less like home and reducing my ease of access in and out of the house. New, feng shui approved flooring looks good but aggravated my tendency to get a pressure ulcer on one foot so I took a long time getting on top of that and still live in fear of relapse. Meanwhile everyone says how nice the floor looks.
I reluctantly closed up shop as a doula. I still regard myself as a good doula and only yesterday a client thanked me for my encouragement but I am unsustainably bad at some other aspect of it. Maybe it's marketing or sales or maybe I'm just bad at business. I'm pleased that I tried.
I failed to gain other employment and it has been tough to put food on the table.
My youngest child and newest driver had a minor accident in June and despite her accepting responsibility for the damage, she is now in the process of defending herself in a civil case where the other driver is claiming exhorbitant car hire fees from her. Before the whole car hire thing came up, we thought we had put the accident behind us but in a cruel stroke of timing, and with no prior warnings or requests for payment, the court documents arrived the day before her final exam.
For, what I think is the very first time in my life, I am genuinely hoping that a simple change of page on a calendar brings a change in fortunes for all of us.
I am so sorry.
ReplyDelete2016 seems to have been difficult for many people the world over.
I do hope that kindness takes over, and that a positive change does occur.
Hugs.
Thank you EC.
DeleteYou know what they say "it will be alright in the end and if it's not alright, it's not the end"
It's a crazy bit of homespun philosophy but it seems to work for me at the moment :)
Wishing you a most wonderful 2017, filled with joy and plenty!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anne.
DeleteThere is always joy!
I had never heard of the term "doula" before Kylie. I thought it might mean you were a Buddhist monk or a water diviner but now I see it means this - "a woman who gives support, help, and advice to another woman during pregnancy and during and after the birth." It seems to me to be a very useful role though I guess in most instances that role is performed by a family member or two. I wonder why we can't have male "doulas".
ReplyDeleteAs for 2017, we are six days in now but I send you a sack full of Happy New Year wishes from Yorkshire. Here's to good fortune!
Thank you YP!
DeleteThere are a small handful of male doulas in the US. The woman who trained me felt that it would be inappropriate as a male role because of the very intimate nature of it but I dont agree.
The value of a doula at birth is that we are not family and therefore not emotionally involved in the same way. The mere presence of a doula reduces pain levels and medical interventions but the studies confirming this effect insist that the doula be non medical and unrelated.
I feel for you and wish that I could be of some help. I send you best wishes that the change of the page of the calendar brings better tidings for you.
ReplyDeleteRamana,
DeleteYour steady encouragement is very valuable. Thank you.
I find the whole ethos of blame and gain quite abhorrent. I hadn't realised that it was quite so prevalent in Australia. It's another US export which seems to be finding it's way across the world. I wish you and your daughter good fortune for the year ahead.
ReplyDeleteThank you Graham!
DeleteI don't think Australia is quite so bad as the US and this particular action is driven by a very dirty business. Both of the individuals involved are victims. I will update as we go along
It does sound like you've had a very tough year and I'm glad it's behind you. I feel the same as you about celebrating a New Year, as it really is just another date on the calendar, but hopefully things will improve for you this year.
ReplyDeleteThank you Joey!
Delete2016 sucked, but then so did 2015,2014,2013...no one ever says optimism is a healthy thing for the pessimist. Maybe the new year will suck less, even slightly less will be meaningful and measurable so here's to less of a suck in the new year Kylie.
ReplyDeleteYes! Slainte to less suckiness, Mark!
Delete