Recently, Blue was photographed with a person called Reid and Reids pronouns were them/they.
It was late at night and in hindsight I was unwise to comment on the post but comment I did and I said that the them/they pronouns were annoying. I don't remember if I actually said so but in my mind was the idea that non-binary people should have their own pronouns rather than be forced to use something intended for another purpose.
Well, I woke the next day to a storm. People were very unhappy and quite brutal about it. I apologised and tried to explain.
The interesting bit was, someone explained to me that koi is an acceptable non-binary pronoun. (They also explained in simple language that language is constantly evolving so the person saying it must have been non-binary-mansplaining)
If only the original post had used "koi", I would have learnt something and avoided all the offence I caused.
Some person told me to delete my comments but I left them there for the education of some other nincompoop.
So, there you have it: koi
And don't comment late at night unless your brain is fully engaged
I didn't know that about koi who were 'just' fish to me until I read this post. Thank you. I am glad to hear of a specific word, and hope it gets more publicity.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am sorry that you were gunned down over your comment.
I probably asked for it! good intentions, horrible delivery :)
DeleteI suspect the good intentions were evident to anyone not looking to be offended.
DeleteI had never heard the term koi used as a pronoun before either. Thank you for the education and sorry for the hailstorm of comments!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it will catch on?
DeleteCrikey! The usual social media pile-on...... I'm all for respecting the many different brands of gender we seem to have these days, but I think the political correctness and virtue signalling that comes with it is completely off the dial.
ReplyDeleteVirtue signalling is a whole nother post!
DeleteI rarely comment on anything on Instgram and don't have a Facebook. Heck I commented on an add for Uber an it got replies for weeks. I am surprised I have not seen it on my blog yet!
ReplyDeleteI comment on everything and I am always careful to be nice, which makes it extra disappointing when I unintentionally upset people.
DeleteAs for the Facebook ads, mine know what I'm thinking before I think it
Apparently, pronouns for non-binary are popping up all over the place, so I've been told by a friend who was trying to be sensitive.
ReplyDeleteIn truth, and only in my head, I am saying: Oh for goodness sake. But give me one word that I can use and I will use it. Sometimes it feels like minefields are being deliberately constructed for lost souls to walk into.
Sx
Hahaa minefields for lost souls! I blame nobody but myself but that's how it felt
DeleteI am totally lost. This business of different pronouns is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for me to get my head around but it's all cultural. The Chinese don't have gendered pronouns at all
DeleteI read just a day or two ago that non-binary folks aren't crazy about using "they" any more than the rest of us who are trying to follow a conversation using it, and that they really need their own pronoun, and I thought what a great idea that was. Thank you for passing this new pronoun along. Now I'm curious how koi was settled on, given that it already has another meaning too. Google will be consulted :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I, too, am sorry you were piled upon. Social media seems to invite such righteous anger, freely and quickly expressed with no time taken for sober second thought. And the more one tries to explain, the worse it can get. Not long ago, I was shaken by a blogger's anger (in private emails, no less) to a comment I had left on a post where he invited people to say what they thought about his topic. Sheesh.
I do find that there are a lot of folks who like to lash out as opposed to have a discussion. It doesn't matter what the topic is, their default mode is militant!
I feel that if a blogger publicly invites opinions, then all opinions and responses should also be public. It makes people think more and it's inherent to the medium. We don't get to choose our readers according to their opinions
DeleteKoi as a pronoun...
ReplyDeleteShow me how it would work in a sentence.
A few things occur to me from your post and one is that there are many ideas out there that simply complicate life.
Alphie
This is Reid, koi is sharing toast with blue ?
DeleteOK. Now I've got the idea. I was stuck in the they/them groove.
DeleteThanks for that explanation.
Alphie
As someone who is transgender, I'm happy to be called "they" rather than being misgendered.
ReplyDeleteYes, I get that and of course that's where the insult lay: in the idea that I wanted to take a backward step to the binary system.
DeleteI am confused. Sorry about the pile on.
ReplyDeleteWhich part confuses you?
DeleteSorry about the pileon Kylie. I've been at meetings where participants announce their pronouns but never heard "koi" so it must be new.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
It actually reflects the Cantonese word which is used to refer to any third party, regardless of gender. Maybe it's not well used, I don't know. And that of course, is the problem
DeleteI'm with Ramana. At the risk of getting death threats from pro-trans militants, I find the whole pronouns debate absurd. As far as I'm concerned he means someone biologically male and she means someone biologically female, end of story. If someone sees themselves as non-binary/gender fluid/androgynous, fine but that's got nothing to do with your biological sex which is still he or she. Non-binary means a rejection of gender roles, not a rejection of your physical sex which is unchangeable.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to support a person in whatever way they identify gender and I want to be supportive but I didn't think enough.
DeleteHaving said that, once the first person brought me into line, that should have been enough
Well it took me a long time to work out what all that was about. As far as I am concerned koi is a sort of carp.
ReplyDeleteI am old enough (I'll be 79 on Wednesday) to say what I think without caring whether people are insulted. Since I worked in the computer biz since 1961, the only thing non-binary means to me is octal decimal, hexadecimal. Numbering systems with more than 0 and 1 are non-binary; people are not.
ReplyDeleteKoi made no sense at all to me except as a fish (noun) and my first reaction was "Seriously?" Your example to ALphie Soup about Reid only confused me further, but your explanation to Wisewebwoman about the Cantonese word used to refer to any third party, regardless of gender, finally penetrated my thick skull.
I understand the reason now, but I strongly disagree with the premise. In the U.S. only liberal Democrats like Elizabeth Warren who support the whole LGBTQIIAAwhatever community bother to state their pronouns, and it is definitely intended as virtue-signaling even if the speaker claims otherwise.