Wednesday, 18 August 2021

Dave



After I came home from hospital I made it a habit to sit on our deck most mornings, catching some sun and reading or drinking coffee or hanging out. With recovery blending in to lockdown I have spent a lot of mornings out there and our neighbour, Dave, who is probably bored and most definitely nosey, has started to make an appearance most days. It started when he was "supervising" construction of a ramp to our front door and never really stopped.
Dave is a builder who seems never to go to work, he tells conspiracy theories and allows his chihuahua to wander the street, tormenting our dogs with his crazy bark and raised hackles. Wait, am I talking about Dave or the chihuahua? sometimes they blur into one.
Sometimes, Dave doesn't make a lot of sense and more than once we have wondered if he might have a traumatic brain injury. Maybe he drinks too much, maybe he is mentally ill. What I know is that he knows everyone on the block, puts rubbish bins out for old ladies, watches the football with the old man on the corner, picks up rubbish and tips everyone off if there are police nearby.

A couple of days ago he came calling out to me " I've got you a chopping board, it's got handles on it, it's a good one"
It turns out he upcycled it from some tables in a church he was working on. I told him I might use it as a platter and he seemed a bit offended, as though I was making his most excellent chopping board into an inferior platter.

Today he jokingly informed us that he should move in here because he can't stand his room mate.
I think we are in favour. Lord give me strength :)

24 comments:

  1. Sounds like he has a good heart even if he is a little peculiar. Though you probably don't want a roommate!

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    1. I sometimes wonder how six of us fitted in this house because it seems cramped for four these days!

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  2. I sounds like a very rough diamond, with an excellent heart. I don't think I would be able to live with him though.
    Good luck.

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    1. A very rough diamond! He's not the kind of person I want to live with and I doubt he would want to live here. I'm way too straight!

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  3. Maybe I am being less than generous, but I would be wary of him. It sounds like he wants to live with you. And, he could be dangerous. I would certainly try to see less of him. Have a book to read when he comes by to visit.

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    1. I take every word he says with a grain of salt, he will have forgotten he said it by tomorrow. He never actually comes past the gate and I have kept it that way

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  4. He sounds good hearted and, well, a little off the wall. Be careful.

    XO
    WWW

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  5. I like wooden chopping boards, choppers belong in a locked drawer.
    Dave and his chihuahua remind me of Norman Mailer and his beloved poodle.
    *Every Word A Grain of Salt*.
    It could be a short story by Alan Marshall or Frank Sargeson.

    I like that Dave helps old ladies and picks up rubbish.
    The chopping board with handles, now that is the piece de resistance, though maybe Dave expects you to cook the main course, and serve it tete a tete.
    Jack

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    1. Looking closely at the board, it has some damage on the surface so he was probably giving away what was not suitable for sale 🤣
      He keeps going on about his potato lasagna 🤣
      My girls say outrageous things to him just to hear his responses, they wouldn't allow a tete a tete!

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  6. Reminds me of the saying "Give him an inch; he'll take a mile" ... good that you've set boundaries!

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    1. I was embarrassed when he kept bugging the builder but then I realised the builder just ignored him

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  7. There are plenty of kooks around. I have a former student who rambles on continuously about conspiracy theories. He also, at age 50' still lives with his Mom.

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    1. Dave tells me "the covid" was dropped on us from Chinese satellites! You have to wonder what happened to guys like your student and my neighbour

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  8. He is trying to hit on you Kylie. Is his roommate his chihuahua?

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    1. His room mate has been my neighbour since we moved here. She's had a number of different people share the house over the years.
      Hitting on me? I must be naive. He won't get far

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  9. Dave seems like a strange mixture of dotty nosey parker and do-gooder. I guess most streets have a version of Dave. I'm sure he would be a pretty unbearable lodger! The conspiracy theories people come out with about covid and vaccinations are so crazy you have to wonder about their sanity.

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    1. I suspect that doing good is a cover for sticky beaking!
      Yes, the conspiracy theories are many and varied

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  10. Nice to have a nice, but slightly bonkers neighbour - I hope you have somewhere to escape to when you simply want to be alone?
    Sx

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    1. I can go inside to escape the neighbours but I rarely need alone time :)

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  11. It looks like he did a good job making it, but where are the handles--and isn't it made of softwood?

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    1. P.S. Tell him it's too small and that it doesn't have a place around the edges to catch drips. Then demand that he made you a bigger one.

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    2. The handles are recessed into the bottom of the board. I think he would make a bigger one if I asked, i think he needs something to do in lockdown

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  12. I think you should let him move in, what could go wrong? Lol. Nice chopping board though. I'd use it as a cheese board.

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