a couple of years ago my daughters went to a school dance and one was groped by a boy from her year group. she reported it to me with the comment that it gave her a bit of a shock but it didn't bother her much and she didnt want to let it spoil her night. i told her that what he did was not appropriate and then i decided not to pursue the matter.
fast forwarding a year or thereabouts, the same boy grabbed a much smaller boy in the school toilets and he assaulted the younger boy, first with violence and then with a sexual act.
when i heard about it, i realised that my silence in the attackers earlier "career" had done nobody any favours.
i didn't expect to ever face that situation again but just recently one of my daughters told me about a boy she had seen taking video of girls' legs. i asked her if she wanted to report it or whether she would like me to do it. the conversation meandered over a few days and in the period of our talks she saw the boy surreptitiously take more video after actually asking the girl in question to stand on a desk.
my dear girl had no question left in her mind and made the report. unfortunately she has suffered as all whistle blowers do with accusations that she did the wrong thing: the boy in question was a "nice guy", it was his final year in school, a 20 day suspension was "excessive".
only it turns out that he may have offended on many more than the two occasions he was seen and the police may become involved.
it breaks my heart to see my daughter suffer but i am proud beyond words of her courage and (as i told her) she is now a hero for women everywhere, for all of time.
Hooray.
ReplyDeleteFor your hero daughter, and for your upbringing which allowed and encouraged her to act.
And no, the boy in question is not a 'nice guy'. He might be masquerading as one, but he isn't.
I would stand up and cheer your daughter. I would be proud too if my child did what she did.
ReplyDeleteGood for her, having the courage to report this boy and stop him in his tracks. The reason sexual harassment is so rife is that few people (men as well as women) report it. Too many people just turn a blind eye. As EC says, he's not in any way a "nice guy" if that's the way he treats women. He's just another sexual predator.
ReplyDeleteNice guys don't take photos like that. She did the right thing. She should be applauded and supported for her courage in speaking out and hopefully preventing further violations in the future.
ReplyDeleteI know that many victims of priest-pedophiles were severely criticized for making waves, and one parish even voted to name their new activities' hall after a priest who only an hour earlier had told them why he was being forced to leave. A lot of people simply rather not know, but to not say is to allow evil to expand.
ReplyDeleteThere is something wrong when anyone feels it is ok to photograph another (not just limited to things perceived as sexual) without permission. Hopefully the young man will learn a valuable lesson in personal invasion, and this will never happen again. 20 days suspension might seem too harsh to some, but the school is making an example of it's tolerance of such offenses. (Not a bad thing to do in my opinion) It should serve as a warning to the next guy (or girl) who is thinking of doing the same thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone for your support and encouragement. The whole situation has blown over for my girl. Things were uncomfortable for a couple of days but as more stories came out it became increasingly apparent that she had done what needed to be done.
ReplyDeleteThe boy in question has, I think, had his world come crashing in on him and I am truly sorry that he has but I am hoping the intervention has stopped his activities and consequences from escalating