Talk to me by name and look me in the eye.
Ask my opinion and listen to the answer, even better if you act on it.
Don't lie to, manipulate or underestimate me.
No gossip. No back stabbing.
Put your phone down and shoot the breeze.
The way you spend time shows what you value.
Open ended questions invite discussion,
Pointed questions can feel like accusations.
Nobody wants to be the token:
not the token gay/ disabled/ "ethnic" or woman.
My otherness is not your prize and my story is not for your telling.
Victim blaming is lazy and generalisations hurt.
Never say "I told you so".
If you truly believe we can get it right, you'll give even the toughest feedback.
And I will be grateful, later if not at first.
Believe in me and you will see my best.
Say thank you. Make it specific.
Hold a confidence or respect my right not to explain.
My time might be the most valuable thing I have, the only person who has a right to waste it is me.
Apologise. But don't make excuses.
Private criticism. Public praise.
.......it looks a lot like love.
There's quite a bit of food for thought in that post, Kylie.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a relief not to have to read another post today, where the content is negativity and/or nastiness and self interest.
Thank you Kylie for a positive post at the end of my day.:)
Alphie
Thanks, Alphie! Enjoy your weekend :)
DeleteCan you hear me clap there?
ReplyDeleteI think I can!
DeleteThank you for the positive post, Kylie. I might write it out and slap it on my forehead.
ReplyDeleteSx
I'm pleased to know it will be presented on your forehead in a beautiful font :)
DeleteGreat stuff there, kylie. Two of them especially resonated with me, My otherness is not your prize and my story is not for your telling, and My time might be the most valuable thing I have, the only person who has a right to waste it is me.
ReplyDeleteTaken as a whole, this post is magnificent.
Thank you, Robert. I think people are getting worse at the idea of valuing another person's time so I understand why that bit resonates
DeleteI think you have covered the topic completely, kylie. And I agree, respect does look like love - love for our fellow human beings.
ReplyDeleteDo you remember in the seventies when everyone bought inspirational posters (especially teens/college kids)? Or was that just this side of the water? Anyhow, this would have made a wonderful printed poster. Kinda like Desiderata.
I was barely a twinkle in my fathers eye in the seventies. Or maybe I mean the sixties :)
DeleteGoodness, Desiderata, that's some comparison!
LOVELY to see a post from you - and such a post.
ReplyDeleteLoud applause (and hopes that I can live by these precepts).
I'm missing blogging but I'm very happy it's because I have other good things to occupy me!
DeleteAnd thank you xo
Wow Kylie that is amazing. You encapsulated many of my thoughts. I was out with a woman today who is in a fair degree of trouble and gossip could kill here. I just about said all this to her but you have worded it exquisitely. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
I have been throwing the idea of respect around for a while and then, in an unexpected moment of divine inspiration, this was just there.
DeleteThank you, WWW
Good stuff. Respect is too often generalized . You've given a good list of what it is.
ReplyDeleteIt can be hard to define, can't it?
DeleteWow!, Just wow! This is an excellent post. I will re-read this occasionally to remind myself to be this kind of person.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anne
DeleteThat is poster-worthy! We should all remember this, store it in our hearts and let it shine through our actions.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda
DeleteThat's a wonderful correction to all the negative and belittling comments that fly around so much nowadays. "Don't lie to, manipulate or underestimate me" - indeed, there's too much of all that as well.
ReplyDeleteNot just these days, it's the nature of humanity. Don't you think?
DeleteI think "no gossip" is what leaps out at me. I worked in HR for 20 years and it was an absolute no-no to gossip - even if sometimes I was bursting a gut to keep it in! I found that over the years the urge to gossip disappeared - and then I found myself liking myself more for it. And then when you are around "sour" people you see just how ugly and spiteful gossip is! We all have a back story and once you realize what some people have been through it makes you think twice
ReplyDeleteyes, you're right, knowing a back story makes a huge difference to the judgements we might be tempted to make
DeleteThe only person I know that comes close to being like this is Jesus, but we should all try to be like him. I wonder what he'd make of mobile phones?
ReplyDeleteI expect he'd think mobile phones are a great servant & terrible master!
Deleteexcellent read...
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing
Nice to have you here!
DeleteI think it is all about sensitivity to the otherness of other human beings and it's about rejecting the idea of oneupmamship. Life should not be about point scoring at the expense of others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment!
DeleteI was just doing a re-cap to see if I'd missed any blogs recently and came across yours. In places I could hear my Mum saying the same things. My Dad didn't say the things. He just lived by them (as did Mum, of course). Their words and actions were a huge influence in my life.
ReplyDeleteGood behaviour is so much easier when it has been modelled for us, isn't it? That's a lovely tribute to your parents
DeleteHi kyley - this should be posted at least once a year...or more! One of my many faults is not listening well - my brain rushes on to the next thing I want to say. I need to slow down. It's the least I can do. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYes, this is an ideal and I ceratinly don't live up to all of it all the time
Delete