It's always been ok with me, they are all the kind of people who I can see after a year and feel like we were never apart but the covid experience has left me wondering if I have misjudged.
I have said here repeatedly that covid hasn't changed my life a lot, I have still been working and maintained a semblance of the usual routine. It hasn't been difficult for me but I am aware that not everyone feels the same way and have made extra effort to let people know I am thinking of them. My cards and emails have often gone unanswered and I make a lot more phone calls than I receive, some people who I thought might have checked in with me haven't and people who i never imagined would be interested have called to ask how I am.
It makes me wonder how to interpret all of this. I know better than to make bridge burning judgements on people who are possibly anxious and overwhelmed but at the same time I wonder if some people ever really cared.
I hope I don't sound whiney, I don't think thats my intention. A friend of mine recently told me that he re-evaluated all of his friendships at age 50 and I wonder if the pandemic has prompted me to do that