About six weeks ago the mid-north coast of NSW had what was called an extreme weather event, a very large amount of rain leading to one in 500 year flooding.
I had many requests to go and help but of course, there were other things taking my time and attention.
Nine days after dad's funeral, I headed off to Taree on a volunteer deployment. The following day I had a phone call to say Mum had been unable to get off the toilet all night (9pm-11am)
I regularly call to check on her but her phone answering can be hit and miss so it might have taken several more hours before I realised there was a real problem. As it happened, a nurse going to shower her found her and insisted she was transported to hospital, where she is still.
Mum is 82 with heart failure, disability, frailty of age, a cancer history and some cognitive impairment so it becomes complicated.
In hospital her meds were changed and that caused her to retain fluid, her heart was really struggling and a UTI caused delirium.
I was away up the coast thinking she was just getting checked over and held in hospital while an aged care bed was organised. Despite several calls to the hospital and many messages to my siblings, I didn't know how bad it was and got rather a shock to get home to a frail and confused mum on oxygen.
The one good part of all this is that she will not be allowed to return home and the system will ensure that she has no choice but to go into care, something the family and her care team have all wanted for some time.
Fourteen hours of attempting to get off the toilet hurt mums elbows so that she is unable to feed herself. Tonight I was at the hospital to make sure she had help with her dinner and in a room of four patients, there were three middle aged daughters there to make sure their confused parents were fed.
After losing your father, you seem to be on a downhill slide for your mother. I know you will ensure her care is adequate.
ReplyDeleteMum has been going down hill for quite a while and i understand her issues better.
DeleteI'll be surprised if we have her here for Christmas
Being a recent widow must be truly horrid. Thank goodness a nurse happened to be going to shower mum, finding her and getting her to hospital for medication and care. Your mum should have the chance to greatly thank the nurse herself.
ReplyDeleteI hear so many stories about elderlies falling over in the street and noone stopping to help :(
Hels, life is very rough for mum and being a widow as well must be miserable.
DeleteI often hear stories of people being helped by strangers, I guess its the luck of the draw
Oh Kylie. It never rains but it pours. At least your mama is safe at the moment and will not be released home. Little as she will like that.
ReplyDeleteMeal times in the hospital are frequently packed with helpful family members. I worry for those without family nearby as the hospital staff are stretched.
Hugs - and I am sure you relished your time with Sherry. You are right about the Town Hall too.
EC,
DeleteIve been waiting for a crisis to force this situation so now we have what we needed but its a very rough way to get to this point.
I know. It took poor Mum having a massive stroke before she was safe and getting the care she needed.
DeleteHow awful. I picture myself in that predicament. Did her sitting bones not hurt mightily? I think I might have just deliberately slipped off the commode for a nap! lol. At least she is now where she should have been.
ReplyDeleteThis will be hard on you in some ways, but a relief in other ways, I am sure.
I absolutely love the curl in your hair.
Linda,
DeleteI did wonder why she didn't slide off but then she'd end up lying in a mess.
It is a relief but a very hollow victory. The weather that night was so cold she might have died.
It's a big challenge for the elderly and their families. The elderly usually don't want to go in care and the siblings quite often disagree. I hope your Mom recovers.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Red.
DeleteIts very challenging for everyone
I am very sorry that your Mum is having such a rough time of it, and because of that, so are you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the people of Taree have appreciated your help. I live in Kempsey and it has been so reaffirming to see all the goodness that have been drawn from people in such a tragic time. Wingham is a lovely old town and has a great history. Megan
Hi Megan and welcome,
DeleteI was expecting to go to Kempsey but the centre closed before I got there. Maybe I'll see your town as a tourist someday
Old age can be a blessing and a curse. I hope that your Mum finds comfort in a suitable care facility.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. Even if she hates it, we will know shes safe
DeleteI am so happy to hear your mum is being taken care of Kylie. And so very , very sorry about your dad. You are going through a very rough time and my heart goes out to you. the loss of the familiar and loved is very challenging. Grief knows no end.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
Thank you, Mary. Right now I've lost my dad and the job I liked on a site I love.
DeleteThe family home is now empty and it falls to me to deal with it.
Its just so much at once.
It's easy not to know your ageing parent has developed serious problems. I was quite unaware of my mum's increasing inability to look after herself as she stopped answering the phone and I had no other way of contacting her. It's good that your mum is going into care and will be properly looked after.
ReplyDeleteNick i absolutely knew mum couldn't look after herself and our relationship has been all but destroyed by my trying to get her to acknowledge it.
DeleteI knew the only thing to effect change would be a crisis and its been just as awful as I feared
It's difficult to have an elderly parent go through a crisis like this, but as you said, at least now she will get care and be safe. And it's not like you weren't trying! It makes a person feel so helpless and frustrated. But we just have to move forward within the new framework and continue to do our best. I know you know that; I'm just emphasizing it. For both of us. Amazing to me that you have the energy to travel to help others. I could barely look after myself for months after my mother entered the nursing home. Wishing you luck and strength as you continue to travel alongside your mother on her journey. xx
ReplyDeleteYour comment about energy is interesting, jenny-o.
DeleteI was enjoying it for a couple of days and on the third day I was so tired I could barely speak.
Thank you for reminding me of one step at a time. I needed that