Saturday 12 July 2008

Policy Review

Tonight my open door policy was sorely tested.
"Mum what's masturbation?"
I know the dictionary has been consulted about this word but it seems that the dictionary meaning was clear as mud. (It says something like "manipulation of the genitals")
"Ummm, Ahhhh, Ohhhhh" I believe I should answer, but how?
My saviour comes in the unexpected form of the Tomboy "It's wanking, isn't it, Mum?"
"Yes" I agree, trying not to elaborate.
"What's wanking?"
The Tomboy saves me again with "masturbation"

At this point their Dad wanders up the hallway and I expect his non-answering policy to come in handy "Daddy, have you ever wanked?"
"It's bed time"
"But Daddy, have you ever wanked?" ( note that it's not "have you?" but "have you ever.....")
"Time for bed" comes the reply.
"Have you ever wanked, Daddy?"
If I wasn't already laughing enough this one just floored me: "None of your business!"
The boys and I were absolutely howling by now.................
Dimples chimes in with "that's a yes, isn't it?"

23 comments:

  1. Kylie...best. Post. Ever.

    I just burst out laughing and Hedgehog looked at me like I was mad.

    For some reason, THAT particular question is I think the hardest of all the sex questions a kid would ask, but I'm not sure why.

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  2. believe me ..it. is. the. hardest.
    i know, i've answered em all :)

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  4. That was me who deleted.

    I'm too busy laughing to comment...
    Perhaps I have too??

    Luckily for me I haven't been asked THE QUESTION.

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  5. heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee


    I think that just about sums it up :-)

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  6. LMAO...with all the grandkids around here it is a wonder this question has not been asked. I am saying a prayer right now...that they won't ask me!!

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  7. I hate to be the barer of bad news....but the questions DO get harder. Wait until they want you to explain how oral sex works and not is such nice terms.

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  8. That was funny :-)

    Ah, the questions that children ask.

    Best wishes,
    Skeeter

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  9. I have no kids and I've never been asked if I wank.

    Life is good!!! Good luck with that! I'll meet you at the other end. If you survive.

    XO, Me ;)

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  10. Queen Goob causes some conternation.
    I'd hope for the best and trust that he is the bearer of good news rather than the barer of bad.

    Who by the way is Wayne Kerr Kylie?

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  11. I should learn to spell. Conternation of course should be consternation.

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  12. Lucky us, Helen has been easy and hasn't asked any awkward questions. Whenever something comes up on tv i have asked if she understood what it means, usually she already knows or has an idea of what it means.
    Thank goodness School resumes tommorrow it is expensive time with Helen going to movies and buying things. Helen is at the age where she is doing her own thing and having her mum around is not cool.
    Anyway it works out well as i have been working 5 days a week.
    I see you guys have another week left of school hols.
    Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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  13. @ Suze - I love that first line! So direct - had to chuckle to myself......

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  14. Dear Kylie,
    Hope you having a great day.
    I have night mares, one day my little one going to start asking me questions...hope I'll be home by that time?

    ♥ & ((hugs))
    bindi

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  15. Kylie,
    Cecile needs our prayers,her Father is in the final stages of renal failure. Check her last post for more info. Thank you for having A Yarn with God...also to Mark and John. What a great inspiration for all of us.

    love you, Gig

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  16. so suz... have you ever wanked?







    aaaahahahahahahahahaaaa..... just kidding.... awesome post! blew beer right onto the screen!

    *wipes beer off laptop with t-shirt*

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  17. Great fun.

    Best wishes,
    Skeeter

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  18. FINALLY I'M DOING COMMENTSIE BACKSIES!!!

    @ BOB
    masturbation!

    @ mark
    consider yourself lucky !

    @ peter
    you dont need any further clarification?
    xx

    @ gig
    thats the good thing about being grandma, you can refer them to their parents :)

    @ queen goob
    well, does the one about 69ers count?

    @ skeeter
    yep, kids....you wouldnt have em if you knew......

    @ suze
    good choice !

    @ dad
    "stop it or you'll forget how to spell!!"

    @ jo
    i guess helen is finally back at school and you can afford to eat again!
    nice to hear from you
    xx

    @ bindi
    you'll be fine!
    the youngest ones ask harder questions because they hear things they shouldn't from the older!
    take care sweetie

    @ gig
    you're welcome!

    @ inner voices
    what else does your t shirt wipe off your lap top??

    @ skeeter
    best wishes to you too

    AND I CANT BELIEVE NO-ONE ASKED THE OBVIOUS QUESTION:
    DID I ANSWER ?
    NUP, I'M NOT TELLING, BUT IT INVOLVED SOME GESTURING I SOMETIMES USE IN A DEROGATORY WAY!!

    LOVE TO ALL

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  19. yer commentsie backsie was as good as this post! dang... *hangs head in shame that he was not so quick witted*

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  20. @INNER:

    OMG!! Tsk, tsk, tsk. There's always someone. Isn't there??

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