"In "real life" (and I use this term quite loosely), Sarge is my blogging touchstone. When I met him in college, at a time and at an age when I and everyone else was emoting all over the place, being touchy-feely, revealing all manner of personal secrets and shadows just to get attention or hook up, boys and girls alike, Sarge was dignified and loath to unload all his personal business. He's still like that, god bless him, and I aspire to his masterful circumspection. Let's be honest, though, I often consider his perspective and then go on to shamefully emote and reveal anyway..."
This excerpt from Leah's "The Weather in the Streets" focuses on an issue that goes round and round in my head.
I am someone who will probably tell you what I think and how I feel about most things, I will quite possibly tell you without being invited to do so, I may tell you in an overly emotional way and I may regret it later, although most times I don't.
I think that this way of being is inbuilt and while it can be problematic at times I also think that the world we live in seems to has an unneccessary bias against it.
I don't remember Leah ever saying anything on her blog that was terribly offensive or inappropriate, she has revealed things that many of us would keep private but as far as I can tell, nobody thinks less of her for doing so. In this case then, why does she refer to emoting shamefully? What is shameful about it?
I suspect that, like me, she has felt some pressure telling her that her way of being in the world is somehow less than what it should be and I have to ask why? What makes Sarge's "dignified circumspection" better? Why does Leah aspire to that? Why do I aspire to that?
I have a friend who delights in telling me that not every thought must be uttered and his point is well taken, lots of thoughts are not really suitable for public hearing but I have to say that for me, pretty much every thought does have to be uttered. For me it doesn't exist until it has taken shape in words and those words need to be organised into some kind of utterance. Those thoughts which need to be uttered might be said as part of an internal monologue, they might be blogged or written in a journal, they might need to be vocalised to an appropriate audience. The whole trick is to pick the right mode of expression.
I don't have any conclusion to make here but I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. I would also like to know whether a natural tendency to dignified circumspection is ever problematic and are there any advantages to a more transparent style?