Sunday, 25 January 2009

Well, that last post "to emote or not to emote?" was an interesting discussion.
Maithri's comment inspires this post.

"Honesty vs dignified circumspection...I think theres a time and a place for both ;) They're both important...I love your style its the right balance between the two...."
It reminds me of an observation somebody made to me once: "We all think that our own level of cleanliness is the right one, any cleaner and we think it's obsessive, any less clean and we think it's disgraceful"
Ain't that the truth?
I think the whole honesty/ dignity question is similar. We tend to think that anyone more open than ourselves is, at the very least, leaving themselves open to be hurt or ridiculed and we tend to find the quieter people a little bit elusive.
I have noticed that this kind of thinking applies in a few areas.
Isn't our own level of permissiveness/ discipline with our children always the "right" one?
Isn't our own level of spending always the "right" balance between tightwad and ridiculously extravagant?
Where have you noticed this phenomenon ?


  1. George Carlin said it best, "Ever notice how other people's stuff is shit, but your shit is stuff?"

  2. It's funny but with me, although I've always thought I had good ego integrity, my way often feels wrong to me especially in important matters like house cleaning (well...) and child-rearing...I think I need to develop a bit more self-confidence or somethin'.

    I really like Bob's quote.

  3. The older you get the more you realize there are few "right" methods or wrong methods in achieving anything where the great intangibles like justice, love,discipline and many more are to be exercised.However Jesus of Nazareth said love one another as I have loved you and treat others as you would have them treat you.Sometimes you get a choice of decisions you can make. All you can do at times is choose the best of the worst!

    However car brake lines must not leak, plane wings should not snap off etc! Never touch power lines to see if they are "alive."

  4. bob,
    that one is so clever!
    love it


  5. leah,
    the woman who does origami underwear folding feels wrong about house work??? come on!

    and as for parenting, i don think one can be a good parent without questioning every step of the way. parenting performance anxiety is a neccessary evil, i think


  6. dad,
    i can just imagine someone touching a power line and saying "i thought it would be ok"
    (humour me, i know there wouldnt be a whole lotta talking)
    anyway,the point is that sometimes thinking seems to be dangerous :)


  7. I'm not the clever one, the late George Carlin is/was.

  8. Kia ora Kylie,
    I guess I am a little late in regards to your prior post and this discussion, but I have always felt we have to write honestly and genuinely about ourselves or what it is we are writing about. That doesn't mean we need to reveal every gritty detail, as there is a fine line, well alluded to by Just Bob, between genuine and just moaning about our lives.
    I have had a few friends and family comment to me that I have revealed too much about myself, when the fact is probably really I have not revealed enough.
    Ka kite ano,

  9. I just do the best I can. Sometimes I think I could/should do more, and sometimes I think I could/should do less. Equilibrium is rare.

    I like that picture of the scale.

  10. Hi Kylie,

    Very few are balanced that way, I think. Honesty and dishonesty are mixed differently for everyone.

    I want to be gracious, but I really don't like our news media and biased journalism. Dunno know if that matches your topic very well, but it sure has been on my mind lately. We are getting ready for a school board election in my city and its turning nasty. The only thing worse is the awful reporting that is going on about it.

    Best wishes,


  11. bob,
    you got my point & remembered a quote that perfectly expresses my thoughts in so few elegant words.
    thats clever


  12. robb,
    you are a man after my own heart by the looks.....
    i'm wondering why you would say you didnt go far enough?

    ciao for now

  13. hey megs,
    isnt the balancing act tricky enough, without the wavering of our thoughts?
    i feel ya


  14. skeeter,
    your wish to be gracious, all the while disliking something, is exactly the kind of thing i'm talking about.
    on my part, i will believe that you are a thorough gentleman whether or not you express your displeasure, especially when your displeasure is with biased and ugly media :)

    best wishes

  15. Wow!! First of all im honoured that my little comment inspired such a deep and beautiful train of thought...

    You're so right my friend... Its the whole 'centre of the universe' phenomenon... We see others in relation to how we 'are' ourselves...

    True objectivity becomes difficult because WE are always somewhere in the picture...

    Much love, M

  16. except in this case maithri, i AM the centre ;)


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