Saturday, 21 November 2009

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones.

last night i watched the "smash hit french comedy" Hey Good Looking or comme t'yes belle.
it was a pleasant enough diversion, i didn't think it was funny, in fact i didn't laugh once and i didn't think it was good enough to be a smash hit either but thinking about it i could be wrong on that....lots of people need a bit of pleasant diversion and they will happily pay for the privilege.

anyhow, towards the end of the movie one of the characters tells a doctor that she doesn't feel she is a good mother, his response "what is a good mother?" inspires her to talk about apple pies and some other thing i can't remember.

so, what makes a good mother?
self sacrifice? discipline? the ability to perfectly iron a shirt? a good cook? patience? wisdom? a sense of humour? strength? organisation? perseverence?

the doctor suggested to my celluloid mother that there is one requirement of a good mother: a happy woman


  1. Being a good mother requires just being you and being satisified you are doing your best to bring your children up to be reponsible adults someday. I sometimes feel I am not strict enough with Helen and then I hear about parents who are just friends with the child and not enough on parenting side of things. I think to myself is this me?

  2. Kia ora Kylie,
    But what makes a happy woman?
    You have inspired me to call my mother.

  3. hey jo!
    i hafta say, i really hate it if i have to be the "bad guy" but so far it seems to be working......

    the girls teen years might be a challenge

    helen seems a pretty level kind of kid so being friends must be working for you too :)

  4. ah! robb
    if i have inspired you to call your mom i have done a very good thing :)

    have a great weekend

  5. Well, looking back at my own childhood, I would say a good mother (or father) is simply one who raises a mature, civilised, intelligent, well-educated adult who realises his/her full potential in life. I think my own parents fell well short of that but hey, no parent is perfect.

  6. Re; my post. Next week it's a turkish resturant. After next week that 's it for a while. I behaved myself this time.

  7. so nick,
    which part of "mature, civilised, intelligent, well-educated adult who realises his/her full potential in life." did they miss?

  8. jo,
    turkish is great, enjoy!

  9. The last bit, for sure. I suspect I could have made a lot more of my life if my parents had given me more self-confidence/ initiative/ determination etc. I'm just too easy-going by half.

  10. Excellent post, Kylie.

    Being a happy woman? Holy crap, that's a tall order...

    I like Jo's idea of "just being you." And I think I'm a better mother now that I have a strong creative life that is all my own. It might sound oddly selfish, but dang if it hasn't made me a better mom.

  11. goodness, nick, i never imagined easy going to be a bad thing.
    i have one child in particular who is easier than easy going and i think it is marvellous! she avoids all kinds of stresses because nearly anything just washes off....

  12. hey leah,
    self imposed exile over?

    it was such a relief for me to find something interesting to talk about.
    i was going to chat about how the more i think about it the more perfectly it makes sense that happiness makes a good mother. then i thought it would be better to just put the idea out there and see what happened.
    it seems you have returned to writing with a grand passion, i hope it brings all the satisfaction you could wish for


  13. Definitely joy. ANd the willingness to let go of stuff and embrace the moment.


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