Tuesday, 19 January 2010

the patriarch

september 2008
a couple of hours ago i received news that my great-uncle Harold, The Patriarch, had finally gone to be with his maker.
i dont have the words right now to tell you about the man but neither can i leave my latest post as my statement for this moment in time.
some time ago i visited a confused and sick old man and in a moment of family reminiscence i recalled my small girl's dream of marrying my cousin, his grandson. "you could have done worse" came the reply and after a moment of reflection "and so could he".
i think that small exchange will live in my memory forever, the very rare seal of approval of a man who showed love mostly by expecting the best and only the best.


  1. 'showing love by expecting the best'- that is an interesting way to love. Sorry for your loss and grief Kylie; I am sure you had more of his approval than maybe he ever let on.

  2. Kylie that his memory lives on in at least two generations means the best of him will be kept alive for as long as some one rises to that expectation of the best possible outcome that he nurtured in you.

  3. cinnamon,
    yes, he was of the old school and often hard but i believe it was all he knew.
    a couple of generations on i got the benefit of his growing wisdom and softness but his interesting way of loving hurt some in his earlier years

  4. walking man,
    yes, i didnt think of it that way.

    i'll toss that around a little more

  5. Heart-felt condolences Kylie. Sounds like a Great Uncle I once had, it does. Tho' he didn't expect the best, he sure tried to live like he did. I still miss him, even after 20+ years...

  6. He looks a lively and cheerful soul. Expecting the best and only the best is admirable. Someone who turns a blind eye to mediocrity and sloppiness is not doing anyone any favours.

  7. So long, Harold. Condolences, Kylie. (I had a great-uncle named Harold, too.)

    He sounds like my dad. And no, it's not a comfortable way to be loved...

  8. Harold is my uncle,My dad's brother.
    He conducted a Salvation Army pure brass band for approx 25 years.
    25 pieces + for most of his tenure were the personnel numbers.

    Some on one occasion put in notes to "enhance" the harmony.
    He stopped the band and told us that there were "composers" in the band.
    Subsequently, His voice raised to an acrimonious pitch, he shouted play what you've got!


go on, leave a comment or four.