Thursday, 4 February 2010

let's talk about sex..........

all of my adult life i have known people to talk about sex, there were vague references to drunken fondling, to tiredness and the damper kids can put on things. there have been jokes about getting too much or not enough and laughing explanations of the timing of a child's conception and heaven help anybody who happens to have a sore back but i have never been involved in "Sex and the City" style confessional conversations. never has a girlfriend (or man friend for that matter) talked in detail about stamina or size or personal peccadillos and preferences.
suddenly, in the past year or two that has all changed. i have heard stories of open marriage, of cross dressing, of pole dancing, cyber sex, porn use, fetishes and fantasy. i have heard confessions of affairs and threesomes and shagging whilst a third party slept in the same bed.

i find the whole phenomenon amazing. why are these people telling me these things? (not that i mind, so tell away)

after around twenty years of adulthood are folks looking to expand their horizons?
are they tired of hiding their deepest selves?
has something in me changed to invite comment?
or is society in general changing?


  1. very good blog, congratulations
    regard from Reus Catalonia
    thank you

  2. You're hearing these conversations because you can be trusted with them. Trust me, I know.

  3. Mark's right about that. I've been told things that people won't share with their own relatives!

  4. That's excellent! And what Walking Man said is just right on target.

    Now I must say, all my adult life I've been having Sex and the City-style confessional convos with girlfriends and menfriends (usually my gay menfriends though). So I'm not convinced it's the fact that we're entering desperate midlife...

  5. I don't hear many such confessions, but then I have few relationships intimate enough. I think society in general is changing, people are realising that sexual quirks they once found too embarrassing to mention are actually so commonplace few people would bat an eyelid. That said, I don't reveal my sexual secrets on my blog or anyone else's. Sorry to disappoint!

  6. I agree with walking man and Leah, your fiends view you as trustworthy. I think that is great! You know, unless it gets all annoying or something.

    I have always been very open with certain friends and less so with others because of how I would likely be judged.

    (Not that I have anything to divulge, of course. I am pure as the driven snow. *ahem*)

  7. Hi Kylie,

    I agree with "the walking man". It's a trust thing. Maybe another factor is that as people grow older, they get more comfortable with themselves. Maybe they are trusting you and trusting themselves enough to take ownership of these aspects of their lives. It is strange thing to hear though sometimes. Poeple seem so different in some ways, you know?

    Best wishes,


  8. subby,
    i dont discuss these things with my family either, my brother still thinks i found my lot in a cabbage patch :)

  9. leah,
    i didnt really think it was totally a midlife thing but i think skeeter is onto something.....

    maybe i didnt have the confessionals because of the people i was around

    or maybe i fell victim to the "she's married so she's not interested" mentality

  10. nick,
    what do you think email is for???

  11. hi mike
    so, you stopped flirting with suzanne long enough to drop by? i'm flattered

    and it's prolly about as annoying as you are pure

  12. skeeter,
    yep, we come in all varieties
    and i think you are onto something with your comments about becoming comfortable

    take care

  13. Email is not the place for intimate sexual secrets either, unless I really really really trust the recipient to (a) not pass it on (b) not laugh like a drain (c) not be bewildered or censorious.

  14. nick,
    i'm not gonna tell you i can be trusted. you should know that

    anyway, i doubt you have any scintillating secrets

  15. Oh I have plenty of scintillating secrets, believe you me.

  16. Suzanne?? All we did was share an elevator ride.

    All quite innocent, I assure you. :)

  17. mike,
    was it a glass elevator?

  18. Funny post. I got lost in your blog and can't find my way out. Why is everyone talking about sex? No one ever talks to me about sex anymore. I'm 56 and too old for confidences. By now everybody should know everything they need to know. I did all that sex talk back in the 70s and 80s when it was my job and the world was a different place. Let me outta here!

  19. ms oak,
    talking sex was your job?

    tell me more

  20. I do recall a glass elevator, amazing sex and an audience. Can I get an "Amen" from the congregation?! Of course I had to share it with you Kylie because you're so damn trust worthy!!! Absolutely no one here suspects a thing. And Mike, it ain't braggin' if it's true, is it!? And, "All quite innocent, I assure you. :)" So that's what we're calling it now? Okay Mike...I'll be right over. Let's work on the definition of innocent. ;)

    Too funny.
    P.S. The Walking Man...I have some great stories for you!

  21. suzanne, in case you never noticed i didnt say anything about you


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