- nobody told me i wouldn't have sex for months after the birth
- nobody told me my five year old would still want to share my bed (sideways, arms and legs flailing)
- i wish someone had told me i didnt need an induction
- nobody told me how hard breastfeeding is
- i didnt know i would have to hold her all the time
- i thought you couldnt get pregnant while breastfeeding!
I just can not keep up with the socks.
The baby socks were good: I remember the boys in cute little red ones with embroidery, green socks and navy blue. I was delighted to put the girls in frilly pink and white confections. It was nice. Easy.
Then they went to school. The boys wore grey socks to start with but then they wanted white so I got white but they were too long, so I got shorter socks and then their feet grew inches overnight and all the new socks were too small so we got more and then they were suddenly thin, stretched and holey. Every time I get just the right number of just the right type their preferences change, their feet grow or there is an epidemic of sock death.
There is always a sock or two missing from the collection and then when a random sock shows up I dont know whether it is the lost one or whether the original lone sock has been wandering the house in search of it's mate.....
I can't get the socks right for the girls, either. I bought them white crew socks but they wanted the ones you cant even see in the shoe. We got those and they were ok for a bit but they dont really have any lee-way for aging and so after a few washes they are so out of shape they slip off the heel and bunch up inside the shoe. I bought those on fast rotation, always struggling to keep up with the washing, sorting, folding and purchasing of the ideal quantity of ideal socks. Just when I thought I had it right the shoes fell apart. The new shoes were sturdier, heavier, they looked unbalanced with teeny-tiny-micro-mini socks so I had to quickly go get more longer, thicker, cushier socks. The socks are always in short supply (mostly because they gather in sock orgies on bedroom floors) so I bought extras this week. After 14 years of school sock buying, of trying and failing, I was sure I had finally got it all under control. I was about to rest on my laurels for a wee while and then the report came:
"Those new socks are so fluffy and thick and soft! They slide around in my shoe and they were so annoying I walked home in bare feet"