I read an article today which was saying "Women who wash the vast majority of the dishes themselves report more relationship conflict, less relationship satisfaction, and even worse sex, than women with partners who help. "
The writer goes on to ask why the washing up is such an issue. Why is it that washing up is the thing women want help with more than any other household task?
She theorises that maybe it is in the gross nature of washing up, and talks about sour milk in sippy cups. After that she goes on to talk about how it involves cleaning up after others and how there is no glory in shiny silverware.
The writer didn't ask my opinion, what does my head in is the absolutely unrelenting nature of washing up. It never goes away.
I washed up.
Then I put some oranges on to cook for a cake and put some chicken carcasses in the slow cooker and then
I washed up
and then I made the cake and
then I made single serve packages of the last nights left overs and
washed the dish
within ten minutes both single serves had been claimed and eaten so I
washed the containers and plates.
Then I needed my own lunch so I made and ate it and
Then I did a mini fridge clear out
and washed up
and organised a snack for someone going to work at an odd time
and washed up.
During the later part of this, my daughter was making soup so as she cooked,
Then we had a quick bowl of soup and went out for the evening and left the dishes there and when we got home they were still there.
Are you sick of it yet? because I was.
I can deal with gross washing up, give me a container of moldy left overs and I'll barely gag. A slimy dog bowl with fly spots is easy. A toddlers sippy cup with sour milk is not even worth a mention. A crusty dinner plate just needs a bit of a soak.
Give me six plastic take away containers and I'll probably knock your head off, those things are evil.
The relationship conflict, dis-satisfaction and poor sex suffered by sole wash-up-erers are probably explained in the final paragraph " The nature of dishwashing.... encourages couples to stand in the kitchen together and work simultaneously until the job is done. That kind of teamwork, especially when practiced regularly, often makes partners feel more connected, ready to tackle the gross and the curdled, in and outside of the sink."
So we are left with the age old chicken and egg question: Is the relationship crummy because of solitary washing up or is the solitary washing up a symptom of a crummy relationship?