Loss in the time of Covid

You might remember me mentioning my mother in laws attendance at Liam's wedding late last year and my wondering if I would see her again.
Poh poh, as I called her (the name for a paternal grandmother) was ill and becoming very frail but she travelled home to Malaysia in late January and kept chugging along. There were some moments of high anxiety but she decided that she would like to return to Australia to attend Keaghan's wedding  (which was to be today but was postponed)
My not-yet-ex-husband went to Malaysia to accompany her here. He left Australia when concerns about covid19 were mounting but there were not yet any significant restrictions and five days later they arrived in Sydney only a day before our borders closed.
Before they arrived here the government instituted a policy expecting new arrivals to self isolate for fourteen days. My husband and Poh poh would normally live in a multi-generational, extended family home so for the safety of the others they retreated to a serviced apartment. People brought food and left it at the door but it was impossible to offer any real kind of humanity. They were alone.

The cruelty of that situation unsettled me deeply but it got worse when Poh poh had a sharp downturn a week into their quarantine. She was admitted to  hospital and in one of those cruel covid twists, my husband who had been nursing her for the past week, was not allowed to visit as he was still required to be in isolation.
I held my breath, willing her to live long enough for his quarantine to end but also hoping her end would be gentle.

As it happened, she was still here when he left quarantine and he was able to spend a few nights sleeping in a chair by her hospice bed.

The funeral was this week and with regulations only allowing ten at a funeral it was a very small affair. I watched the video footage and was struck by the strangeness of a socially distant funeral. Single chairs placed well apart around the chapel looked bizarre: awkward and cold.

I didn't think I would ever see my husband voluntarily become a carer. Not in a million years did I expect Poh pohs funeral to be in Australia. Or to watch it on a phone. Or for only ten people to attend.  I also never imagined it would be a Christian funeral where Hillsong music was played in English but these are just thoughts I want to record, not covid related.