Friday 16 July 2021

Stroppy

I am a member of many facebook groups relating to birth and parenting and over the years have enjoyed contributing when I felt I had something to offer on a topic. Today I read a post, quite similar to many, many others, where a pregnant woman with two small children was reluctant to go ahead with a recommended scheduled caesarean but was reluctant to explore options with her medical are providers. She was so unsure of herself in discussing her concerns, in fact, that she said she was between a rock and a hard place but admitted she hadn't actually spoken about it.
After reading so many of these kinds of posts and understanding the consequences I have become a different kind of patient.
I attended a check up yesterday, the doctor asked me sit on the bed, remove my boots and lie down. 
I removed the boots but knowing there was no reason to lie down continued to sit up. Briony, who was accompanying me noted my departure from instructions.
"She wants me to be a patient" I said
"you are a patient" came the teacherish response

I had a little epiphany about how to express myself and relied with "No, I am a partner in my own care and you don't ask a partner to lie down" 

When I told my mum the story she said my recovery had made me stroppy but the reality is that my "stroppy" self would still be on an medical roundabout if I hadn't questioned, advocated and negotiated to get answers to the problems I had. I also negotiated to become weight bearing early and so improve my recovery.

I have achieved much by being the active driver of my health care and I only wish that I could teach others to do the same.


23 comments:

  1. I realise that I'm at the beginning of a steep learning curve!
    Sx

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    1. I hope you never get the run around and have to learn but if you do need to, you'll ace it

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  2. Well done you.
    The very best doctors will welcome partners in the process.

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    1. Sitting up yesterday was symbolic, of course but it tells a story to the medicos and to me

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  3. So have been but, I have no desire to teach anybody else unless I am asked.

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    1. That's a great point. If people aren't asking they are probably not ready to learn

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  4. Your post is timely as I feel myself detaching from my advocacy in my own care. Exhaustion is contributing but none of all the professionals seem to know what to do. All baffled with my condition(s).

    XO
    WWW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There were weeks on end when I did nothing because I had temporarily given up. Self advocacy can be hard.
      Things started changing for me when I asked to be referred to a different specialist clinic. New eyes, new approach.
      I hope you find what's up soon

      Delete
  5. We have to be our own advocates. You just can't swallow everything that you are told. and then since it's a delicate balancing act, we have to recognize what's correct.

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    1. Hi Red, recognising what is correct is the tricky part in the medical scene and most people are justifiably hesitant to question a doctor when their health is at stake

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  6. Never heard of stroppy before. Had to look it up. The older I become the more I find out I don’t know. You don’t seem stroppy to me. Pay no attention to your mum.

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    1. Stroppy is probably quite old fashioned. I doubt my children use it.

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  7. I had a commenter say I thought I always knew more than my doctors. Well, one listed me as 89 in a referral to another doctor when I was 69; one told me he would not operate on anyone who could not walk; another prescribed me blood pressure med when he already was worried my blood pressure was too high. Actually, the nurse hurt me and I yelped, so bp was high. I could go on.

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    1. I meant the doctor thought my blood pressure was too low and then gave me something to bring down my blood pressure.

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    2. Hi Linda,
      It pays to pay attention, doctors make mistakes as much as anyone. I knew what you meant about blood pressure.
      Some of your commenters in the past haven't been real nnice and very bizarrely I recently received two comments intended for you about your old house. They were so unpleasant I deleted them.

      Delete
  8. Well done I reckon. My relationship with the medical profession has been like this for decades. I'm not deliberately obstructive but I do ask a lot of questions and often don't do what I'm being asked to do re treatment. I listen, do my own research and decide. Medicine is only one part of the complex picture of health.

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    1. Hi Michelle,
      I'm not always great at thinking of questions but I do reflect on what I'm told and decide on how much to comply :)

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  9. I have been very fortunate for the whole 24 years of my cancer treatment. I have always been a partner in my treatment with the exception of a few years when a particular surgeon and I didn't understand each other so I went back to my original surgeon after he had moved to another hospital. I still see him although he is no longer the lead in my cancer treatment.

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    Replies
    1. Being an active partner in your treatment has probably contributed to your longevity, Graham. It's important to have a doctor we trust

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  10. Good for you, making your own decisions and having your own views on treatment. I must say I'm a bit diffident myself with my doctors, I probably need to be more assertive.

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    1. Well, it really depends on the situation, Nick. There's no point being assertive just for the sake of it. It becomes more important as the complexity of the condition increases

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