A couple of weeks ago I received a text message "J is in a bad way.... Prayers are needed"
J has a long history of mental health issues but she hadn't told anyone about the bullying and harassment from her neighbour. She had seemed good at seniors group in the morning but by afternoon she had disappeared into thin air. Her friend Marie noticed and called until J answered. From a cliff top.
Marie is mostly confined to home with arthritis which requires her to use a walker. At the time this happened she also had a severe chest infection but she reached out to J by phone and talked her into getting on a bus to home.
When the bus arrived, she was met by Blue, who suffered such trauma in her early life that she developed multiple personality disorder and suffers daily for the wrongs of her long dead parents.
J has recently come home from hospital and her family is trying to fix some of the problems which lead to her slipping into the dark.
Tonight I received another text: Blue is in hospital with a kidney infection and will have surgery tomorrow.
When I took responsibility for the seniors group I just wanted to make sure they all continued to have the safe space they already knew.
I didn't imagine I would ever be tearfully proud of these women and the ones I would be most proud of would be the most marginalised.
Marginalized people are in the position due to someone else. Given the chance, they can shine.
ReplyDeleteThese three care for each other fiercely and against impossible difficulties. Nothing about them qualifies as "respectable" or gracious and they bicker constantly but the love is real
DeleteYou have moved me to tears too.
ReplyDeleteThe marginalised often know how precarious life is, and how much human interaction/kindness means. Perhaps it is along the same lines of 'if you want something done ask a busy person'?
I hope Blue's surgery goes well.
I hope so, too! I'll let you know.
DeleteSuffering produces compassion or cynicism, doesn't it? I'm glad they choose compassion
I think as a society we have become more and more lonely. There isn't the sense of community we once had where we all pulled together. Very very sad for your friend, I hope she can pull through.
ReplyDeleteI keep hearing about the loneliness epidemic and I wonder why we are reluctant to get involved.
DeleteBlue has damaged kidneys due to the neglect she suffered but I think this will be a small set back in the scheme of things
I hope everyone comes through this rough time okay. These ladies' support for each other would put a lot of people to shame.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many problems these ladies face, the rough times don't really go away but might be less intense. And yes, I thought the same about them putting others to shame
DeleteThese three know what it means to stick together. They know their real friends and against all odds they get on with life to the best of their ability.
ReplyDeleteAlphie
That's right. What I love is that they do what they can. I have seen people make excuses over much less
DeleteHow true is that old chestnut about never knowing what inner battles and difficulties others are invisibly going through. How sad that J felt desperate enough and lonely enough to be on a clifftop wanting to end it all.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe she would have ended it but yes, even thinking it enough to go there is very serious.
DeleteJ is not real street smart so can be bullied and taken advantage of. The neighbour who harasses her is the lowest of the low
You are doing some remarkable work Kylie and you are blessed to have the opportunity to do so. My best wishes to you and to all those grand women.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sir Ramana. I am indeed, blessed
DeleteI agree that we don't seem to have the same approach or understanding of being true neighbours to each other. When I was a child we really knew our neighbours and they would do anything for us and us for them. Now a lot of people don't even know their neighbours. I wish there was a stronger sense of community and compassion to others rather than judgment and isolation. We can learn a lot from your friends.
ReplyDeleteThey are a great bunch!
DeleteI have one neighbour who I know reasonably well but I don't know the rest.
Good on you and your fellows in the senior group. Everyone has a story and more than likely it includes much sadness and hurt. I don't think I have ever known anyone who got through life without sadness and pain. It is up to the rest of us to act as bolster and listener and love giver. You and your women are to be commended!!
ReplyDeleteYes, I do think pain is universal and it's usually the support of one or two which gets us through
DeleteOver 40 years ago when I came to live on Lewis the sense of community was total. So many of the things that bound communities together have changed as have the demographics of the Island. I'm not sure that there really is a total sense of community any more although there will still be pockets where community is important.
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