Though I haven't attended a birth for four years now, I still haunt the facebook pages where women ask all kinds of questions about pregnancy and birth.
One of the common questions is "I am heavily pregnant (insert a week number) and I'm uncomfortable and over it and there's pressure on me to book an induction/ caesarean that I don't want and there is no sign of labour. What can I do?"
My answer to this is always "you could have no sign of labour now and be holding your baby by tonight/ tomorrow morning/ in a few hours"
Realistically, labour signs are worth diddly-squat in terms of predicting when labour will start. Sometimes people have signs for weeks, sometimes none at all until labour is well advanced. Mostly it's somewhere in the middle.
I started thinking about this more broadly and I'm of the opinion that most major changes in life happen in the blink of an eye. Looking for signs usually doesn't reveal a whole lot. I have always told my kids that things turn on a dime, that months of unemployment just end when the call with a job offer finally comes. Or that it only takes a single date to meet "the one"
A life changing accident happens in a second.
A life changing pregnancy is confirmed in the minutes after peeing on a stick.
Even when we know we are unwell, a life changing diagnosis is unknown and then, suddenly, known.
In these days of long lives with declining quality of life toward the end, we often will see a death coming but the finality of the loss happens in an instant.
I wonder what major changes you have seen coming and which ones just appeared?
You are so right that things turn on a dime. The really major changes in my life, illness/loss/death have all just happened. And you are so right that even when a death is expected that finality is always a shock.
ReplyDeleteI think it's human nature to look for signs but really big events seem to just happen.
DeleteI know with my three pregnancies, I had no warning until I was in labor unless you count the breaking of water just before. I heard and still hear all about signs, but they were not there for me.
ReplyDeleteThings in life do turn on a dime. However, I have seen some things as inevitable that did come to pass. It was still a shock and surprise.
Even things that are inevitable can surprise us with the timing.
DeleteLife changes quickly. In fact, the only constant in life is change.
ReplyDeleteYes. Resisting change takes so much energy, I'm trying to learn not to resist.
DeleteWell, I guess the major change was meeting Jenny and discovering how well we got on with each other. And we've achieved all sorts of things we probably couldn't have achieved on our own. As for pregnancy, as you know, we have no experience of it!
ReplyDeletePregnancy was the catalyst for my thinking but I think there are lots of times in life that we spend a lot of time worrying about what-ifs, never thinking that we may never get there
DeleteSome deep thinking here. We still have to be observant and care about things.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Red. If we don't care, everything starts to fall apart
DeleteAs an aside, "heavily pregnant" always annoys me. Is there such a thing as "lightly pregnant?" It's used so very much and I always think the opposite when I hear phrases such as that to see if they are meaningful.
ReplyDeleteBut I so agree on turning on a dime. So many tiny turns and then wham!
XO
WWW
I never stopped to think that there is no "lightly pregnant". The questions I answer are always written in weeks but I didn't think that would be meaningful to everyone.
DeleteMy brother-in-law died in an ambulance after a car accident, as did his father before him. That was twice that family had everything turned on it's head
That's a really good observation Kylie. I look for 'signs' and I get impatient. But you are right - often there are no signs at all. Suddenly there is a point of having to make a decision either way, to jump into something or reject it. I'm sure this has happened to me many times but I can't think of a specific example right now.
ReplyDeleteJump in or reject, yes! I was thinking more of the things that just happen to us but being ready to grab an opportunity is another aspect of the theme :)
DeleteBrexit - I saw that coming - a bit like watching a very slow car crash.
ReplyDeleteBut you mean personal circumstance, don't you? Yes, they do happen swiftly - you can never be sure what the day will bring, and it's probably best for me not to worry about these things!
Sx
The whole world saw Brexit coming, like the grim reaper.
DeleteI did mean personal circumstances, as you say, we can be in a different position entirely between the beginning and end of a day