Friday, 2 May 2008

Notes from the padded room

I had an interesting Eureka moment this morning.........
Some time ago, probably a couple of years, I had a conversation about the word "quite".
My friend had used the word with beautiful: "quite beautiful" and I asked him whether the "quite" minimised the "beautiful" a little or made it stronger.
He answered that it made the beautiful stronger and wondered how I could imagine that "quite" would weaken the adjective it was placed with.
I struggled to explain but I knew that, even if my friend disagreed, there were/are times when I would use a word like quite or rather to soften it's partner.
Having read about the death of Dr. Frizzle I was remembering pet deaths here at Utopia and in my internal monologue, described one as "rather horrendous".
That's when the lightbulb went on!
The death of a pet might be traumatic, sad, distressing but horrendous? In my mind horrendous is for plane crashes and famines and extreme exaggeration but when teamed with "rather" an horrendous pet death seems almost appropriate.
All of this raises two questions: Have I misunderstood something here? Is a "rather horrendous" pet death better or worse than a plain horrendous one?
and does anyone else have flashbacks to inconsequential conversations?

25 comments:

  1. Hi baby. I apologize, I didn't even read your post yet. I'll come back later after all my errands and yard work are done. I'm taking time out just to alert everyone after hearing disturbing news on CNN. Please go to my blog or to the Cafe. Two people we love dearly needs us. And please say a prayer for them on your other blog. Perhaps Dad can too. I think every little thing will help. I know we've been through this before with them, but this time I feel terribly concerned.

    Love you my dear,
    Suze XO

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  2. Well, I read it and I love it.

    First, everyone's okay. Cece doesn't have computer access however. That's about it.

    I love "quite beautiful." Quite enhances beautiful and they make a lovely couple. You probably find that I enhance adjectives a lot! Why? I don't know, but I do. It's the only way I know how to write.

    I think pet deaths can be "rather horrendous," but they can also be "horrendous." I think what "rather" does is soften the context. "Horrendous," all by itself leaves nothing to the imagination, the image is solid and heavy. You have no ability to maneuver as a reader. "Rather horrendous" allows you to use your imagination and it also softens the blow.

    I don't know if that helps. I just reread it and it didn't clarify anything for me!

    XO

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  3. it was a good comment, suze. you confirmed what i thought

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  4. and thanks for letting me know every one is ok
    :)

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  5. After I read your post, I posed it to my husband. We always love a good discussion of semantics (and if that makes us the world's most boring couple, well, I'll stand proud behind it!). He said nearly just what Suzanne said. See, we're such an intelligent bunch!

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  6. I found this post quite interesting. I read about the death of Dr. Frizzle and was quite saddened. Seriously, I think the death of a loved pet is very sad and some pets' deaths take longer to get over than others. We have a pet cemetary in the back corner of our yard behind the shed. With the passing of each pet (two cats, a dog, a rabbit, and a guinea pig) Helen made little wooden crosses complete with names and dates to remember them by. And yes, I have flashbacks to inconsequential conversations. It can be quite infuriating!

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  7. an interesting post, Special K.

    And I'm still here! The internet was cut for a few days again, and that's why I've been a bit quiet - grrr!!!

    luv ya!

    PJ xx

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  8. Well I stopped by to ask for a prayer (I know, this is getting ridiculous!), but read all the comments first. They're brilliant and made me laugh. You know me, I love to laugh. I also agree with Leah, we are an intelligent bunch, even if we do say so ourselves! (Can we get a descenting opinion here? Nope!) I also love that Leah and her husband argue semantics. No, not boring at all. It reminds me of Rob's and my relationship. One morning I was rather grumpy and Rob as usual was taking an opposing view point. I said "Robert why do you always do this to me? I've put up with it for decades and want to know why you always disagree." He replied "Oh honey, I just love to debate you and keep you on your toes." He said, "Do I believe what I say half the time, no, I just like to see you argue your point because it makes you stronger." I wanted to wring his neck. I never knew. I thought he was seriously opposed all those years. Too funny. But now I know!

    And Mark. Pet cemetaries. I know. It never gets easier to bury a dear friend. Never. We outlive so many.

    I always say I'm not religious, but having yours and Dad's prayer blog has made me realize I'm indeed religious. I just haven't found a church to suit my soul. I'm sure I will.

    Kylie, I need a prayer. Go to my blog and read my current post and you'll understand. I need a bit of help with his medical procedure and hope he doesn't have bad memories or much pain (his appointment is Monday). I also need a bit of help with his adjustment to a more gentile life. I want him to know how much he's loved and to not be afraid. I want him to love and appreciate Mom as much as she will love and appreciate him. I want him to enjoy his new life and forget all his hardships. Perhaps if she/he has time, God will hear this prayer. Thank you my dear friend. And thank you too for this wonderful post.

    Love you,
    Suze XO

    P.S. Ohno's appointment for his lump is also Monday ~ thanks again for our prayer for him.

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  9. meant to say "Your prayer for him."

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  10. god has time for all of it!

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  11. oh, dear....
    i dont care about capital letters but god has to be God

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  12. @Suzanne,
    I agree with your second comment and Kylie's reply to you. I also agree with Kylie's comment about God. He knows what we need even before we do. God is love.

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  13. Leah,
    I dont think you're boring, I love a good discussion of semantics! and who better to enjoy it with than one's life time partner?
    i've had second thoughts about this post and i think "quite" probably does pretty much always accentuate the adjective it goes with but i still couldn't be sure.

    I think the whole thing grabbed my attention because of the word beautiful....I rarely use it and if i did i might want to distance myself from it a little.....to me it's a very strong and specific word, not to be tossed around cheaply.
    Well, that's the end of my comments on the matter but you've probably guessed that i can go on like this for hours if an interesting usage pops up
    cheers
    k

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  14. mark,
    i'm glad i'm not the only one to have these flashbacks :)
    so far we've never had to deal with the death of anything cuddlier than a bird but the birds all get a tissue or rag wrapped around them and a burial. there is usually a brick or rock placed over the grave to stop the dog from resurrecting the deceased and in later times dimples has taken to adding a texta "RIP" to the rock.
    I have conducted bird funerals at all sorts of difficult times and refuse to accept the bin as an acceptable alternative (yes, some people do!)
    bless you
    k

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  15. peter,
    interesting? thats it?
    if you think i'm a nutter just say so.......
    also, see my comments to leah
    k
    xx

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  16. suze,
    my comments to everyone else tend to apply to you .....
    except to say: these lawyers! i worked with one for a while and he would argue the sky was red with me just to see if i could put an argument together!
    it was amazing to me but we need em to keep us on our toes, bless em :)
    k

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  17. Wow, I've gotta go, but like an idiot came here to check your comments before leaving the room, now I'm stuck like glue to this damn computer. Okay. I'm going to type and think really, really fast. Forgive all typos and grammatical mishaps!

    The use of the word "beautiful." I had no idea you were so uncomfortable with it. I use it all the time because in one word I can describe a place, an emotion, a person, etc. I couldn't even imagine living without the word because I couldn't imagine living without beauty in my life. There's so much ugly and my remedy is to see or create beauty every chance I get. I would literally die without it. I'm serious. I've often thought about it. The question I always pose is "What would I do without beauty?" And the response is always "I wouldn't survive." I think I would literally die of a broken heart. I don't know why? It's just something deep in my soul that feels nurtured only by beauty and more than not, the beauty of nature and the human spirit. So for me the word beautiful means life. It reminds me daily why I'm here, even when life feels like a struggle, it is the great equalizer. Does that make sense? I hope so. Every time I use "beautiful" in a sentence, you'll now know why. I like that.

    And Mark, thank you. I'm learning. It's not so much I ever lost faith, I simply stepped away from it. Thank you for your kind support and love. As always.


    And Kylie. Lawyers! If I say white, he says black. It's insane!!! But he told me it's made me a better debater. When did I ever state I want to be a better debater?! I've just always wanted to be a regular gal! ;)

    Love you beautiful!!!
    Suze

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  18. Kylie,

    I think your post is indeed an interesting one!
    In my experience, using words like 'quite' or 'rather' can mean either to make it stronger or weaker, but it all depends on the intonation, or the context.
    I know that in England, (and I say England here, as I'm not sure about other countries), that when we use the word 'quite', it's usually to soften, as some stereotypes (which may be believed or not) say that English people are not particularly direct -just look at my comment here for example - it's taking me ages to get to the point. It seems to be that English people tend to use 'rather' or 'quite' a fair bit (and there's another one!). If I said 'It's rather cold outside', does that mean stronger or weaker than cold? It would all depend on the intonation, who I was speaking to and what the context was. I wonder if it is the same in the US or Australia??

    Or am I being rather stupid and missed the point of your post completely?? hehehehehehehe

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  19. hehehe......i'm laughing
    pj and suze,
    i sort of thought this post had bombed a bit and was getting ready to put it to bed but now you've got me going.....

    @suze, i know you say beautiful a lot and i'm fine with it...youre right, beauty is everywhere and i appreciate it. as i think more about the conversation that started this post i remember that it was about beautiful women.....i rarely say a woman is beautiful: stunning, pretty, good, stylish, those kinds of word are what i use, they seem a bit more specific or something.....
    and you know it was a lawyer who started all of this, two years later i'm still thinking!
    xx

    @pj
    ahhh!!
    you know exactly what i'm trying to say!
    maybe my use of English resembles the English use of it!
    (that doesnt count my ausssie ockerism)
    xx

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  20. QUITE.

    The Australian Dictionary of note is The Macquarie Dictionary. It has its origins in the Macquarie University in Sydney NSW. It has a distinctly Australian "flavour" and contains heaps of Australian and New Zealand Vernacular words.

    This dictionary says:-
    1. adverb completely,wholly entirely. 2.acyually,really,or truly 3.colloq.to a considerable extent or degree. 4.an expression of agreement.
    Usage.
    1. quite the reverse
    2. quite a sudden change
    3. quite pretty
    4. expression of agreement. yeah, quite
    Lachlan Macquarie was an early Gonernor of New South Wales --- a Scot of course!
    $

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  21. Comment by Anon above was from me, John Anon was a mistake.
    Typos
    Actually
    Governor

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  22. This was about "beautiful women?!" Jezzzzzzzz. I forgot!

    LOVE YOU!!!

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  23. hey suze,
    NO, IT WASN'T ABOUT BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, IT WAS ABOUT WORDS.
    definitely time to put this one to bed, lucky i have another post in the pipeline ....i need to take my own advice: "a closed mouth gathers no foot"
    why are you up at whatever ridiculous hour it is?

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  24. You said in your own comment, if you reference it, your post was about "Beautiful women." See, I'm not a flake. My research skills are beyond excellent. Trust me. I wasn't an honors student because I was a moron honey!!! You will have to eat your words. What a tasty treat! See you at the Cafe. YOU'RE definatly buying because you owe me. I want something really expensive! Okay, not really, I'll take a nice hot cup of tea!

    XO

    P.S. No, you'll never live this down.

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