Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Rambling....

"Your deepest fears guard your greatest strengths"

I read that today and it got me thinking...
What are my deepest fears? My greatest strengths?
How does a person even know what their deepest fear is?

I think that our greatest fears are probably so much part of our essential selves that we possibly don't even recognise them unless we are brought face to face with them.
In trying to imagine what my deepest fear might be I recalled the times when I experienced physical symptoms. Fear is renowned for it's effect on the body so I didn't have to think too much to remember times when my gut churned and gurgled and just a couple of times when I was actually paralysed.
The paralysis happened when the life of myself or one of my children appeared to be in immediate and serious danger. No surprises there, life is quite a strength.
The gut churning moments I can remember relate mostly to less immediate physical dangers to myself or my family.

Serious injury, illness and death are no brainers in the causes of fear but what I'm still wondering is: what else scares me?
I'm always scared if I'm called to the bosses office, that makes some sense: the ability to earn is a strength.
I'm scared of heights, what does that tell me about my strengths? Not too much, I fear.
I don't like change too much. What strength is that guarding?

What fears do I have that I haven't recognised?
And what might they tell me about myself?
What about you?

17 comments:

  1. My word, Special, you're coming up with some spectacular posts lately! This one is great! I think your fear about change - well, in my opinion the strength that that is guarding is that you are a very stable person who is good at organising things - people can rely on you in a crisis and you'll always be there, like a rock. Does that make sense?

    My biggest and greatest fear is water. Most things connected to it as well (here, most people comment 'Ooo, well how do you shower then?', to which I reply, 'Like most people'). It's deep water that I'm scared of. I can't swim - it freaks me out. Can't put my head under water for fear of drowning (not even in the bath, so washing my not-so-much hair can prove tricky). When I was younger, I couldn't/wouldn't drink pure water, and I still don't like the taste of fish, any seafood or seaweed - yuck!
    I wonder what this says about me??

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  2. wow pj,
    if you keep saying things like that i'll have to pay you more :)

    i think the fear of water is an instinctive one and some of us work against it better than others. it probably says that you have good instincts regading your own safety and you listen to them
    xxx

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  3. Thank you. I'm scared of change. I know that now. Change is in my future and it's relentless in it's pursuit of me. So change it is.

    Thank you for your concern. I'm on my way to the emergency room today to be told what I already know, and what you already know. Wish me luck sweetie. Not that it will change anything that's happened, but perhaps will prevent something from happening in the future.

    I love you,
    Suze XO

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  4. Hi All,
    Is there really nothing to fear but fear itself? ---- or so say some.

    Peter we in Australia are sorry the water is a no no for you. There is no better feeling than to feel the heat sucked out of your body on a 30C day or to body surf a wave. If you miss it's like being a dirty singlet in a washing machine! Sharks are some people's fear too.
    Cheers all.
    John.

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  5. i fear not being able to do something in a situation... emergency or otherwise, like i would freeze up or simply not be able to function... oh and being eaten by a shark...

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  6. I fear dying. But not just death it's self. I fear that I will die before I have fully grasped my belief in God, and that he will actually exist. So maybe I'm afraid of Hell. I'm also afraid of things happening to my kids. (death, serious injury, kidnapping, ect.) My life revolves around them if they were gone, there would be no reason to live.

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  7. Great thought provoking Post, Kylie!!

    Like Peter I am afraid of water, as a small child, I almost drowned at a lake. I don't like my face to get wet. But yet the first house Mr. Big and I bought had a pool. Go figure. I loved floating in the shallow end!! I love the ocean and the great lakes here in Michigan. Driving at night by water, (river's especially) terrify me. This is my biggist fear.

    XxOo

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  8. That's an unbelievably profound quote, Kylie.

    I had to think about it quite a bit. I'm terribly, horribly afraid of being alone, all alone with no one to rely on. As a result of this fear, paradoxically, I've learned to be quite self-reliant.

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  9. I love you dear friend. Thanks for your support and encouragement. I'm off to the emergency room in a few hours to be tested to death. Cross your fingers!

    Have a beautiful day ~ I love you,
    Suze XO

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  10. Special,

    Aww, thanks! I expect better payment in future! And yes, maybe I do think about my safety - I'm paranoid about being safe (but then again, who isn't?).

    John - Thankyou, but I can do without body surfing a wave!! I'm sure the feeling is great, but it just scares the s**t out of me!!

    Gig - hey there fellow water-fearer! I'm just like you - I love looking at water and seeing how beautiful it is, but get me on it, in it or it's crashing into me, then I'm off!!

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  11. hey everyone,
    pj & gig:
    i'm also afraid of the water to some extent...i will swim in the ocean sometimes, rivers give me the heebie jeebies and i never learned to swim till i was 13 because of my terror of the water. it's a fear i just manage to contain most of the time and i'm glad i've learned to do that ...a good swim is just fantastic!

    cece;
    we're all terrified of our kids being hurt and it seems that without them we'd have no reason to live but i hope that, should the worst ever happen, i could find new meaning.dreadful thought, tho.
    i find it hard to imagine that anybody could be consigned to hell while they're on some kind of faith journey....better to be struggling than to give up or never bother.

    leah,
    learning to be self reliant is the best way to deal with a fear of being alone...you will always have a sense of control even if you find your fear realised. i hope it's not tho, loneliness is another terrifying thing for most of us.

    IV,
    do they have sharks in redneck territory?

    HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND ALL

    and suze, i didnt reply to you because you already know i'm thinking of you and praying for you and generally hoping it never happens again

    xxxxxxxx

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  12. Hey I am also afraid of SPIDERS. I hate them! A few months ago we had a tornado touch down within 100 yards from our house, and I went to our neighbors storm shelter with my boys for protection. As soon as it stopped hailing, we high tailed it back home and spent the rest of the evening in our bathtub. I was not spending the night with BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS. Nope, I'll take my chances with the tornado anyday over spiders.

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  13. Dear Kylie,
    Your posts are always interesting and thought provoking...
    fear.....do i get a chance to visit my hometown again?
    If something happen to me who will be there for my little one?
    So I came up with a living will, which is safe in my bag all the time and a copy with my best friend...
    have a good weekend
    love and ((hugs))
    bindi

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  14. Cecile's comment has just reminded me that I too am afraid of spiders - those great big HUNTSMAN spiders. I refuse to sleep in the same room with one :(!

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  15. Cece & Mark:
    Ok, Did ya have to mention spiders? Ugh, but even worse fear of snakes...creepy...just can't handle either.

    pj: glad I am not the only one that loves to look at water but don't want to be under it!

    Great Post Kylie!

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  16. Hi Kylie,

    Interesting timing with this post, as I have been asking a similar question of myself.

    My biggest fear is an early death and not being able to completely check of my life's "to-do list". I have so much stuff planned for myself and my family, and I just want to be sure that when my day comes, I will have no regrets.

    I think that's the sign of an obsessive personality, I think.

    Brian

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  17. Enjoying your blog...referred by Bindi. :) I wrote on a similar topic recently. My fear...not making the most of my life.

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