A rose by any other name.......

There are a couple of people I know who don't call me by name, not by a term of endearment, not by a diminutive, not by "hey stupid" and not by my given name.
It has bothered me, sometimes more and sometimes less but always niggling away there and I could never figure out the exact reason.
This weekend I read this: "The most minimal recognition available resides in a name. Without it, you can be neither addressed directly nor represented indirectly. Arguably, without a name, you don't exist" Perfect. That explains why I will labour with an idea until I have the exact words I need ....my thoughts are almost non-existant if I can't turn them to words. More importantly, it touches the precise reason I want to be known by name.....without it I am nobody.
Talking of names, I once had a colleague who always referred to her husband as "my husband" and her daughter as "my daughter". I knew her husband before I knew her so I knew his name, she wasn't saving me from an insurmountable memory problem!
And I remember when the wee one was born so I knew her name, too.
I found (and find) it distasteful to see that happen. Surely "my husband" is only necessary for a time? We all get to know others by proxy, never meeting but knowing names and a little of character. "My husband" or "my daughter" reduces a loved one to a mere positon. It implies that the individual is no more than their relationship to "me", that if he/she wasn't my husband, my child they would not be at all.
Having said all of that, now is a good time for a little related housekeeping: when I started blogging I felt it appropriate to protect the identities of my children by making up names for them but now, after 100 posts, and feeling that I know many of you, the whole idea seems to be becoming redundant. You will have noticed that I occasionally refer to them by name in a comments page and I think I will make that my standard approach. The comments page always feels like a conversation and if I was chatting over the back fence I would call them by name, wouldn't I?
I will stick with pseudonyms for posts though, it just feels right.....and I think they like them!