definite oddness

the school year has just ended here and over the last couple of weeks i have spent some time at end of year school events. i am pretty impressed with the kid's achievements this year, by the way, and will be happy to send details to all interested parties but that's not what i'm here to talk about.

i have often had a sense of unease at school events, a sense of terror that i might be like "these people" (that's how i think of them). it is a bizarre affliction because "these people" are just like me. they are at school supporting their child, they are taking care of a family and doing their best. they probably dress similarly to me and shop in the same places and live the same kind of lives. they are honourable people but i look at the women, in particular, and shudder. i imagine them to be totally devoted to their kids and subsequently devoid of individual personality, devoid of interests or humour or lives.

it is a crazy feeling because i know nothing of these people and what i do know is good but i am often desperate to imagine i am different, desperate to declare myself different.

the most interesting part of all this is that it seems to be mostly represented in the hair. grey hair is a distinguishing characteristic, making the wearer less "cookie cutter"; extremely short hair is good; extreme dye jobs, especially the revolting ones, also lend an air of credibility.

while i was thinking about this most hypocritical, snobbish characteristic of mine i considered that it is the soccer mom image i am opposed to and had a look at what wiki has to say about soccer moms. i don't quite fit the definition thankfully but in my wanderings i found that there is, in fact, a defined soccer mom hair and.....

horror.......

of all horrors.......

i think mine qualifies