Thursday 8 May 2014

Waiting.......


I am on call now for a birth and while i think i am better at uncertainty than the average person, that doesnt mean i have no concerns.
My concerns are mostly manufactured in my own mind: what if i dont hear the phone and they dont call again? what if they have decided at the last minute that they wont call me? what if there is a traffic jam on the way? will i remember everything i need to? will i think on my feet when something unexpected crops up (and it will, it is birth) if it is long, will i be anywhere near useful at the end? what food do we have that i can quickly grab as i head out?
every night when i get into bed i think i am too tired for a birth tonight, every time my son has my car i worry about getting the call, yesterday i worried that i would forget the address.
today i was asked what food i recommend for labour and i worried that i was being either too vague or too prescriptive (i said comfort foods, complex carbs to start and fast energy sources for the end)
i go on call when a pregnancy reaches the 38 week mark and some babies are not born until 43 weeks (rare but possible) it is a long time to be second guessing ones self but this is the life i chose and maybe i will get better with practice?

8 comments:

  1. Peggy used to have similar worries about her job as a nurse, but as time passed, her confidence grew. However, she STILL has performance-anxiety dreams about the tests she took in nursing school.

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  2. I find waiting incredibly stressful - particularly with no precise time frame. I feel for you, and am also sure that you will do well.

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  3. snow,
    nursing is SUCH a responsibility. i take my hat off to anyone who takes on a profession like that. i imagine the exams were necessarily mind bending (and in the days of fear inducing matrons etc etc)but i think peggy has earned the right to relax!
    :)

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  4. EC
    i know i am well capable of doula-ing but the fact that i am taking money for the privilege makes me rather more sensitive about the need to get things right.
    thanks for your faith in me!

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  5. Yo I have the second grandchild coming in July. How do I make it arrive exactly on the 28th? Yes I am selfish that way.

    You know what the best part of what you do is---relieve the burden of worry off the prego mom. Cool.

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  6. Mark
    guarantee the bub comes on the 28th? theres one word for that: bahahahahahaha!!!!!

    i'm sure an Ob would be happy to oblige.

    i envy you the little one(s) baby snuggles are delish <3

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  7. Having such butterflies in our bellies during critical times is perfectly normal and you are just being normal. Congratulations!

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