I keep seeing media reports telling men that there's some new study out which confirms that if they did more housework they'd get more sex.
It annoys me intensely.
Obviously lots of academics do lots of in depth studies to get this information but (and it's not the but you expect) it's missing the point.
Yes, if fellas did more housework their women would be less tired and perhaps more in the mood.Yes, if women felt less burdened and less resentful they might feel more like a bit of partying.
So whats wrong with this theory? Its not all about housework.
A bloke needs to find out what his girl needs and give her that.I may be the only woman on earth who doesn't find a man doing housework a turn-on but I doubt it.
I read a book called "The Five Love Languages" It basically explains that people express love and feel loved in five ways:
- physical touch
- quality time
- gift giving
- acts of service
- affirmation
We all like all of them and we should all use all of them but everybody has a preference.
Housework is an act of service, so for a woman who wants affirmation the housework might be appreciated but it might also fall short of a turn-on. Sweet nothings, anyone?
On the other hand, if your sweetie favours acts of service as her love language a bit of washing up might be just what the doctor ordered !
I wouldn't want to discourage guys from pulling their weight on the domestic front and full on laziness will eventually be an irritation to anybody but I wish that housework wouldn't be presented as the Holy Grail. It's just not that simple.
Use all of the love languages and mostly use the one that is preferred by your partner.
PS: If the theory of love languages here doesn't give enough info post a comment....don't forget, someone wrote a whole book about it so my basic overview is bound to be a bit less than adequate.
OOLF: Mediterranean Chicken tonight...one to do again.
As a fella who positively enjoys housework, I can say I've never met a woman who finds it a turn-on; although quite a few find it pretty strange.
ReplyDeletewow, hi stephen
ReplyDeletewell, thanks for your perspective...i guess you've just proved all those media reports wrong
drop by again
:)
oh, and i hope you found an alternative turn on ;)
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with you. It isn't like some magical thing that switches on our invisible libido switch, when a man dons a pair of rubber gloves and scrubs the toilet... It's about reciprocity.
ReplyDeleteI tend to over give. I tend to under receive. I get resentful. Resentment is cancerous to love.
"nuff said.
karen, I wonder if you are subscribed to get replies by email? I didnt have email alerts in the days when i wrote this post and had no idea you commented. Sorry about that!
DeleteHopefully you are getting a bit more reciprocity these days!
I am very late to this party, but a man doing things for me, house or car, is really a turn on.
ReplyDeleteIn retrospect, it might depend on the man!
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